Literatimommy

How's It Going?

2010-10-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

I always said I'd know by Nov. if this job really is for me. It is almost Nov. We stand on a precipice. Our little school is about to get SLAMMED with new middle schoolers (I can't say exactly why...I can admit it is a group felony). We also picked up some high schoolers who were on the sauce at a school event. I've had to remove kiddos for disrespect, call parents, discuss all sorts of unpleasant topics. And. Drum Roll: It is still a ton of fun! I LOVE the people I work with. They are quirky, confident, and kind. I am currently making up roller derby nick names for us. (long story: one of the girls used to be rollerderby...we are actually making fun of her. she doesn't know it. i know i'm mean.)

Here are my names thus far. The first and last names are changed to help avoid detection.

Susan "I will put you on home bound" Wright.
Stanley "number crusher" orbitz.
Charles "schulz your mouth" schulz.

I haven't come up with my name yet.

The truth is, of course, that the people make the job. And, I really like them. Also, though, I really like the kiddos. They are extremely social inept, immature, and face hurdles (which they themselves placed) that I can't even imagine. It doesn't change the fact, though, that I love to teach them how to write well. I love to read Chaucer. I love to help them. So far, so good. I'll give a jobs report again in the Spring: that may be a different creature all together. ;)

Betting Against A Student

2010-09-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

Because I work at the discipline campus, the students are transitory, meaning they are placed only for a short time. I thought this would be good, because if you have an annoying student, they go on their way at the end of their allotted time. Not so much. I actually have grown to really love my students. Of course, it is good that they return to their home campus. They have friends to see, plays to be in, sports to participate in, and in general, be a teenager again. We began a transition plan at the behest of our administration. Today, I got to be the first one to participate in the transition, to check on former student who exited this year.

NYwas a dream student. She was our only middle schooler, in the DAEP for losing it after she had been confronted about taking someone's things. While with us, I learned lots of things about her. She has huge struggles with her step mom. She is a nerd, and doesn't fit in at her uber-chic middle school. (Not really shocked about that. Her middle school is the wealthiest in the district, by far.) She read 16 books during her spare time while she was with us for four weeks. She loves to write. She went to a writing camp this summer. She is into drama. Okay, although she wasn't a mini-me, she and I share a lot of common interests.

So I go over to check on her, give her a quick hug, and I can tell she doesn't want to talk. She has a life that is calling. She's been in choir and drama, has made some friends, and doesn't need me anymore. Her grades are up, her attittude is up, she is sailing right along. On the way out, I tell the two counselors at her MS that I will be back, but not a lot. She doesn't seem like a risk to come back to our DAEP. That is when one of the counselors unloads. She starts looking around counselor 1s desk and office to see if NY has taken anything. She laughs in my face when I tell her that I don't think NY is a risk. Then she says, "We'll see if she comes back to you around April. Let's just wait and see how she is doing then." With a sarcastic snarl on her face.

I am wondering to myself if this highly educated woman has morphed into a middle schooler. I want to ask her if she has heard of Pygmalion, and self-fulfilling prophecy. I want to ask her if she really is implying that N will be back, in other words, if she is insisting N will fail. In true life-long educator form, I smile, bid the lady counselors goodbye, and tell them to have a nice day. Outside, I mutter "bitch," and I am so angry that someone would be so hateful to a 12 year old and get PAID to do it. I can't imagine disliking a student so much.

At my home campus, the one other teacher who wasn't new this year confirms "They don't like NY over there." I want to judge the counselor, to think she is a horrible person who should be fired, but there is a little voice inside of my head that urges me to imagine my words and how they are taken in social situations. Although I've tried to move beyond this, I am still haunted that so many campuses are guilty of betting against students. I will try not to do this, as this violates education ethics 101, and also, it violates the inner-law God has stamped upon my heard, that of free will. You see, the truth of the matter is this: Either NY will return to our DAEP for bad choices, or she will advance on without incident. The choice is hers. It has nothing to do with counselor number 1 nor myself. April, come quickly, so NY can prove everyone in her petty middle school wrong. I am betting on NY. It may be a long shot.

I'm The First!

2010-09-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

If you want to know how my job is going, let me tell you what I got to do today. Just today, I tutored two students at the alternative school (students pick to go there) who are trying to graduate. I taught one of them Edward's "Sinners in the Hand of an Angry God" and the other one Chopin's "The Story of an Hour." With the Chopin piece, we talked about how motherhood can sometimes feel constraining: she is the mom to a baby girl! Also, I was able to be the FIRST ONE to discuss a college education with one of my students! No one had mentioned secondary education to him before. I got to be the FIRST! This job is crazy, but I know God is working through me and in me while I am here! What a blessing to be the first!

My Last Day as a SAHM: Another Red Letter Day!

2010-08-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

It is not surprising, I suppose, that I love the beach and the waves that crash into them. They always keep coming in a rhythm that I find so relaxing. I know I'm not alone in this. I find that this same rhythm is echoed in our human lives. 7 years ago this day, my belly was extra-large with Jack McCormack. I was heading back to work after a summer break to my job at as a high school English teacher at Lamar High School. I was nervous about Jack, but 100% positive that the daycare exactly one block away would be a great idea for him. I had NO plans to be a SAHM at all. I remember at the end of my first day as a 9 1/2 month pregnant teacher, I was sprawled out in a camp chair and my students were very afraid I might go into labor in front of them. (Probably the BEST lesson for abstinence or birth control they EVER got in high school.) And then, I met him. Of course, after hours of labor, worry, ect....but still. My very next memory is of holding a screaming, crying baby boy. And much pain. (they say you don't remember the pain...whatever, that's stupid, of course you do. it freaking sucks...)

Still in a lot of pain, riding in my car on a doughnut, I had to go up to the school because my substitute teacher couldn't figure out my lesson plans. When I showed them to the head of the English dept., she was shocked there was any question at all. I was EXTREMELY organized and ready for maternity leave. I was so angry at having to deal with work stuff...and that anger never subsided. I knew I had to quit to care for Jack. First I told Mike, then my parents, then my principal. And I was free.

Free to do what? I hadn't the foggiest idea! I put Jack in my bjorn, joined some museums and the zoo, met Cathie and Ava for lunch, baked Hamburger Helper and had left overs every other night because we were so poor. We took naps together, built blocks, watched baby einsteins, talked, read books, played and ultimately expanded our family with the wonderful and fabulous Molly McCormack. My sweet mini-me. We moved to Keller. Life got tougher. I had two children under 22 months apart. I became depressed. I got lost in the waves of laundry, cooking, and games. I clinged to my parents who visited once a week. I was pummeled by the monotony it takes to keep a household successfully running. And, I longed to go back to work. Caring for two small children is taxing, hard, boring, and WONDERFUL all at once. I made friends with other moms who helped me immensely. They talked to me, showed me how to handle the pressure with grace, and mostly shared themselves with me during a challenging time.
Being an at home mom feels like it is high tide ALL THE TIME. There are no breaks, no moments to catch your breath. You scarf down what's left over on tiny plates like a turkey vulture, gulp water in intervals like a camel, vacuum like a robot, and laugh hysterically like a hyenas at the predicaments you find yourself in.

I needed a lot of adult interaction, so I started back to school, got an MA, and worked part time to quell the desire to go back to work. Those moments where I got to think, write and interact with others were my life-line. But, it only satiated my appetite for full time employment for a bit.

Now my kiddos are 7 (this month) and 5. I have been hired to teach English at the DAEP school, or as Jack calls it "JUVIE". I work 5 minutes from home. Since I work in GCISD, I am mostly on Jack and Molly's schedule. I will work from 7 a.m. til 3 p.m. or so. I probably won't have any after school commitments except the kids. Molly is going to a preschool, and Jack is going to an after school program. But, I start back tomorrow. I am in shock. I prayed for this day. I longed for this day. I missed public school education. And now I am on the precipice of going back. It feels good. But, I feel a bit nostalgic, too.

I don't know how my year will go. I do know I am no where near the person I was 7 August's ago, swollen with a baby who would change my life for the better. God has richly blessed our family during this time. We have had very few catastrophes, no tragedies, and financially, we are much better off. We stand in awe of his provisions, and on the eve of such a great change, we pray for his guidance. What a wonderful, crazy ride this SAHM life has been.

I will miss lazy starts to the mornings (though they disappeared with Jack's start of K last year). I'll miss seeing Jack drag his backpack out of the school hall when his day is over, and seeing children rush up to him and bring him things he forgot. I will miss Molly's wild morning hair and snuggles with her puppy-like morning breath kisses. I will miss our MANY trips to the Fort Worth Science Museum and the Fort Worth Zoo. I will miss being with other SAHMs who are so kind! I will miss volunteering in Jack and Molly's classes. I will miss the quiet house at 7 a.m., before any one else is up (although this too has gone away with the onset of Jack's public schooling). I will miss walks to the park, picnics, and meeting Mike for lunch in the middle of the day.

I will not miss part time employment, being bored, hearing the TV on and feeling guilty, and all of the people who think since you are a SAHM you must have a ton of time to volunteer to help. I am excited for this new journey. I am so amazed at the waves of time, and how they have changed us, and yet, still, the same cyclical nature seems to be echoing in our lives. We had a simple life when only one of us worked, and now that has gone, but with another crash different blessings will wash up on our shore. Who knows what kind of similar situation I will find myself in during coming blasts of future waves. I am so thankful for the time I had with small children. It was costly, but it was worth it.

From Mike, to Matty

2010-08-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

My dear Matty,
You brought so much joy and life to our house, I hope you find rest and peace now. I love the memories you left us; thank you for loving us even when we didn't deserve it. Love you girl. Miss you already.

Another Red Letter Day

2010-08-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

This morning, we had to put our much loved Scottish Terrier, Matty, to sleep. The dr. diagnosed her with a form of heart failure. Thankfully, the kiddos were at my parents, so it was just Mike, me and Matty. We got to drive like in the old days on the way to the hospital. Matty rode in my lap with her head out of the window. I, of course, bawled my way through church so much while Mike assured me that I have never cried a "pretty" tear...my nose turns red, my eyes turn bright red, and snot poors! I am really going to miss her. My favorite thing about Matty was her spunk for life. She did EVERYTHING with a spark. The kids will be devasted, too. I made myself feel a bit better by purchasing a silver cross at church today that says "Every good gift comes from above." I believe this, and I know Matty came from heaven and returned to heaven today to play catch with Jesus, chase the many onery squirrels she killed while with us. RIP matty.

California Dreamin' replete with tar balls compliments of BP!

2010-07-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

We are heading up to Galveston Island this weekend. First, we will go to Houston, and then Saturday morning we will go to Stewart Beach, hopefully rent an umbrella and beach chairs, and let the kids into the nasty Galveston water. Why I am so excited to go play in that same ole' yucky water I've been playing in since I met Mike? There is something that is so peaceful about Galveston Island to me. I like the surf, the brown water, the laid back attitude of its inhabitants. I like the Taco Cabana that is two blocks from the beach. I like sandy ham sandwiches, salty Tom's potato chips, sea shells mixed with oil (they've been there as long as I can remember). I like the way the air smells, all fresh and new, like if you wade into the water and come out, it's the same feeling of starting over, of being reborn in a moment. I like that at the beach, you really don't worry about anything past sunscreen and keeping an eye on your kiddos. I like seeing the people pass by barefoot and in swimming attire, some of them dripping from a recent dip in the salty, foamy, jelly-fishy water. Don't read me wrong here: Galveston isn't the perfect beach for watching great looking bodies scoot by. It's all old people, grand kids, moms and dads. I'm not sure where the fabulous people are: they're never there when I am there. I like the way sand gets stuck inbetween your toes and never seems to fully come out, even days later. I like looking out into the abyss, and trying just for a moment to imagine a God whose word emerged on distant shores, far from Galveston, but still there, in me and right beyond where the sun sets into the ocean. He's there, I know.

The beach places within me such a knowing about how our world began. I like to muse that some agnostics think we came out of the salty water as four legged frogs. Our blood is like 97 percent similar to sea water. I think that in the moment of creation, God wanted to set a trail to him, so there are similiarities between us and the water, between whales, and dolphins and two legged humans.

Mostly, and shallowly, the beach offers a place to chill out, to do nothing but wriggle my sand inbetween my toes, search for shells with Molly, and watch Jack hurl his body into the tiny crashing waves. We will only be there Saturday. On Sunday, we are going to Memorial Church of Christ's VBS, and we'll do area attractions around H-town while Mike toils away at his job in Fort Worth. I know that toil is coming quickly for me, but for now, I plan to enjoy the weekend at my favorite beach.

Jack's First Horror Story

2010-06-05T06:09:00.000-07:00

Is about starting 1st grade! It begins with the typed words "First Grade". Then, you open the book and a boy is yelling "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!". The book continues on with phrases like "In First Grade you do literacy centers longer, you do more math, you get tickets easier, and you do study hall." The pictures on every page are of a boy yelling "AHHHHH!!!!". The last page is a stick figure with a sad face. Seriously...tooo cute!

Losing Yourself in a Moment

2010-06-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Once, a very long time ago, a young (ish) mother lived in a new home. She worked part time, had two very small children, and was focused on finishing a degree in her spare time. She adored her children, but found playing with them tiresome. She did not like to play barbie dolls nor did she like to play trains. So, to pass the days, she became lost in moments that she planned. She planned trips to a pirate ship park, and watched the dark haired boy and the wispy haired girl dart like sprites in and out of the play ship. She tried to grasp them, but they were just beyond her reach. She walked countless steps at the zoo, holding their hands, tying their shoes, getting their drinks, purchasing seed sticks to feed the multi-colored and chattering parakeets. She would lose track of herself, and see the zoo sometimes through the eyes of her small children. The zoo became flashes of furr, and bright colors, of dirt and grime, and sometimes of sighs that came from a woman she no longer knew. She imagined a career outside of the days at the zoo, but never fully grasped that, either. She lived in a fog. She had friends she loved, she worshipped and adored God, her best friend and husband held tightly to her hand to keep her anchored. She became lost in Chick-fil-a children's meals, of squishy peanut butter sandwhich lunches, and in small packaged candies that kept her children content.

One day, in the midst of another day much like the day before, she realized her children no longer held her hand when they walked, that they no longer skipped on the asphalt paths at the zoo. Her children no longer stared in wonder at the orangatans at the zoo, they no longer sang sweet songs or nuzzled her neck like the baby giraffes they watched. She had lost herself in a moment that turned into 7 years. On the other side of the moment, time had slipped inexplicibly through her hands. A season had passed while she was lost in one moment.

A new season hoisted itself upon her, and she tried to become lost in a moment again, but wisdom would not allow it. She was forced to comprehend in fleeting glimpses of her life that life itself was as fleeting as the previous season. With the fog clearing, she drew both children near to her, smelled the top of their sweaty heads, felt their soft skin, looked deeply into their eyes, and drank their childhood as if it were an elixir that might ward off further laugh lines, wrinkles and age spots. But it would not.

She began to plan a life for herself once they were grown. She tried to comprehend eighty years through 35 year old eyes, but even with the recent widom she had gained, eighty years seemed like just a number. She prayed over them, prayed over herself, not for things wisdom begged for, like a strong faith, or confidence, or wisdom. She prayed for more time. Time to grasp and understand the moments that had passed, and the moments that were yet to be. It was a selfish, shallow prayer, yet it was a prayer she could not let go of. Once she witnessed the passage of 7 years in a moment, she questioned the very essence of time itself. She no longer trusted her watch, nor calendars, only sunrises and sunsets. And she prayed for many of those, in the vain hope that she might become swept up in the crash of another wave of time, and lose sight of everything except the small children in front of her, rushing quicker to meet adolscence. She wished to watch them stumble and get up, she wished to have her husband's sure hand as moments gave way to years, and years to decades. She wished for more time: isn't that the way it is once one tastes life, and the fluid movement of it all?

May: FFWD

2010-05-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Break neck speed. It's almost as if the toddler years were fast, but now we're to the part of the coaster that is really taking the dips, switch offs, and turns, and I cannot even blink! This, of course, mixed in the LONG days of cleaning, TV, way too much FB, and anxiousness about what I will be doing next year. It is so hard to believe it is all moving in FFWD, and slow motion, all at the same time!

An update on my job situation:
God has answered my prayers by telling me he is "Considering" full time employment for me. I have had 2 interviews with GCISD, and I have 1 with Birdville ISD on Monday. What I love most about the jobs I have interviewed for in GCISD is that they are not typically what you would consider GCISD jobs. One is for a Middle School ESL position at GMS. Once again, I would be helping those who need the most help. I think it is a title 1 school. I know it is the place where God would use me the most. The second job is an ESL teacher at Vista, the discipline school. I was really nervous about this one: who wouldn't be? But, in keeping with what I told God, I am going to EVERY interview I get until I have a job, and I am considering EVERY position I am offered. Again this would be a great place to serve students who are struggling, and possibly fill in blanks and gaps in their ELA education. Plus, it is a wonderful atmosphere, as the people with whom I'd work seem like they really do enjoy each other. On Monday, I have an interview with Richland High School as a straight up English teacher. This is "my" dream. I love high school kids and I love English. It's part of why I got an MA, so I would be considred for these positions. The down side is they are in school until 4, it is not in my district, and the commute is like 25 minutes. (Not much on the downside, right?) I am excited to talk to them, and excited to see what will come of it.

I know that if I don't work f/t, I have a nice gig at TCC South teaching only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. That sounds GREAT to me.

In this instance, I wish there was more of a FFWD on my life. I'd like to know what I'll be teaching, although I realize that we never truly know what we will be doing tomorrow. Still, after so long as a full time at home mom, I am really looking forward to going back to work during the day. I miss having that outlet for my gifts, teaching, and I miss interacting with colleagues and having just a few moments to myself. I am ready for Molly to have interaction and activities all day long, which I know she will love. It is a time of wonderful blessings, and upheavals, and change, which I know, is a fertile time for spiritual growth and trust. Still, though, not easy!

Jack and Molly Ride 2 wheel Bikes!

2010-05-08T16:47:00.000-07:00

Inbetween my classes today, Jack and Molly learned to ride bikes without training wheels. Let me say that Molly completely started this! She made Mike take off her wheels, and every time she would crash, she would get back up and say "It's okay. I WILL learn to ride this bike!" She is incredible. Jack took lots of coaxing. I had him say after every crash "I eat bicycles for breakfast!!!" This made him laugh. He isn't as good as her: by the end of the day, she was riding the whole length of our street. There is no telling where that girl is going to go, both on her bike, and metaphorically. At one point, she told me "You need to be more encouraging." Seriously, she is ONLY 4!!!! This was another red letter day!!! Although being a parent takes nerves of steel, (watching them pedalling, teetering and crashing is soo hard), it is also wonderfully exhilarating!

Red Letter Day: Hello Sir Bowser

2010-04-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

We got a new puppy today from Happy Tails Farm in OK. My Aunt owns it, and gave us a baby airedale. Jack got to pick the gender, Male, and the name, (We compromised on Sir Bowser...he wanted Sir Gawain....ummmm, don't want him to regret that in high school, although the dungeons and dragons crowd might like it...:)).
Airedales are supposed to be large, but we let Molly pick the dog out, and she picked the runt of the litter. Right now, I think he weighs like 3 pounds or less. He is teeny tiny. I'll post pics when I am recovered from our trip.
He is asleep in his crate. I remember quietly placing a baby down in the crib, and I did just that...gently placed him in his crate on a cushion of towels, while he rests from his red letter day, too.

Family Easter Pics

2010-04-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Mike and I started a new tradition this Easter and went to The City Club's Easter brunch. The Easter bunny was there, as was a photographer. The kid's got Easter baskets and had a separate brunch area with kid friendly food like mashed potatoes in ice cream cups. We had sushi, prime rib, elegant veggies, shrimp cocktail, and a dessert bar that was terrific. The buffett was in their formal room, and it was over the top elegant. (Think large banquet room plus pink plus lots of mirrors plus crystal and gold). (Perhaps a bit tacky?) We had a blast. We ate, and ate, and ate, and the Sunday before, in our super small group from church, we read this scripture: Deut. 8:10: "When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you."

We had a great Easter, and are thankful for the many blessings we have been given. First and foremost, of course, is our salvation and the way we say thanks to the Lord for his gifts: through Jesus' sacrifice.

What I Meant Wednesday

2010-04-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

To Jack:
What I said: "Ouch...that hurt..no it didn't...it wasn't your fault it was mommy's fault."
What I meant: "I'm so stupid for standing close to you while you learn to hit off a tee. I can't believe you aren't knocking it out of the backyard with a swing like that one....where is the ice? A bruise on my hand? seriously.."

To Mike:
What I said: "I feel fat in this."
What I meant: "I need constant reassurance since hitting 35 that I don't look a day over twenty eight. If you mention my cellulite you ARE A DEAD MAN!!!"

To Mollers:
What I said: "You are on a talking time out from your brother. You are NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO HIM!"
What I meant: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

To Jack:
What I said: "Why did you pick the veggie tales entitled "The Case of the Lost Temper" ? Mommy is good to you. She took you to get doughnuts. She picked you up from school. She made cookies for your lunch."
What I meant: "Let's start looking for psychologists today. We're doomed!"

To our neighbors:
What I said: Nothing...I'm much to spineless.
What I meant: "Somehow, I don't believe having a drunken party replete with celebratory "whoos" at midnight is an appropriate way to greet Easter. Hmmmm, yeah, I know the Easter Bunnies at 4340 Kenwood did NOT appreciate being kept up til midnight."

Easter 2010 pics

2010-04-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

Jack and Molly before we went to the Easter Brunch at the City Club. Jack was STARVING because we, brilliantly, thought if we skipped breakfast, we could "get our money's worth at the buffet." Classy? You betcha!

He did end up eating really well, and he even tried lamb. I have to admit, although he hates veggies, he has yet to meet a meat that he won't try. He ate the whole thing, plus prime rib!

Molly ate really well, too. She loved meeting the Easter bunny!

On the Saturday before Easter, we went to the family Easter gatherine at N and P's. It was so much fun! I got to hold Emme and Myka...SCORE!!! They were both so precious! Emme spent a good amount of time with Mike, giving him precious gummy grins....how I miss those! It is so wonderful to have babies in the family! I got to give Myka a bottle of water, and she played with my arm in a way that I had forgotten both Jack and Molly did! Myka was so adventuresome! She is full of spunk, and Emme is full of gummy grins. The grown ups came up with games for the kids, which they loved! Jack and Molly hated to leave, and I have to say, I really do adore my family, and I missed those who weren't there so much!

It was a wonderful Easter. I got a special reminder of what Easter is all about at the nursery on Sunday morning. I kept a three year old of a friend of mine who promptly told me that "Jesus is Alive" and that the "tomb is empty!". How wonderful is that? In the service, our praise team lead "Mighty To Save" and I wanted to cry! I held on tight to my charm that I bought at ETSY, and it was so amazing to be reminded that Jesus conquered death 2000 years ago. Easter is truly our only hope. We are a blessed people indeed.

Thankful Thursday

2010-04-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Three Things I am Thankful For Today:

1) Target: Seriously, where else can you shop for a swimsuit, grab Easter egg fillers, grab a pound of free trade coffee...caramel flavored, get a birthday present for a party along with all the accoutrements, as well as get hairbows, socks, and cardigan's for Easter morning, so your daughter will be fabulous! I LOVE you Target!!!

2) Surprise Fast Food Lunches with Hubs. It began with a quick text...and ended with a Chick fil a sandwich....True Love, and a moment to gaze into my beloved's eyes while I stuff my face with waffle fries. I LOVE you Chick fil a..I mean I love you hubs...and the waffle fries, too!

3) Daily Bible Readings that really confuse me: Thank you Paul via Romans 6 and 7. It reads like a postmodern analysis on what we should do versus what we actually do. It's a mind bend...certainly better than any book I've read lately. And, Paul, although I've been irked with you and your "women be silent" ways, I have to admit, you were an inspired writer that still puzzles and inspires folks to this day! I LOVE having a moment to read the Bible at 8:30 a.m., while mollers is still passed out in our bed!

Any good thankful things today?

What I Meant Wednesday

2010-03-31T05:55:00.000-07:00

To My Trainer Yesterday:
What I said: I want to do abs today.
What I meant: I've been working out really hard. I definitely don't want to do legs, because I seriously think I am going to die when we do that. Let's take it easy today, K?
She didn't get the message.

To Molly Yesterday:
What I said: You can get your own drink, honey.
What I meant: Seriously, Mollers. I am NOT your waitress. Even IF I was your waitress, I would have left this table a few years ago, because you are the worst tipper on the planet!

To Jack Yesterday
What I said: Turn off the Wii.
What I meant: Right now, my sweet son, I am having visions of throwing that stupid Wii out the freakin' window. If you don't turn it off, I will use my Super Brawl power to destroy it!

To Carroll ISD spokesperson at the job fair:
What I said: Where should I put down my level of experience, including teaching in college?
What I meant: You just pulled me up in a group of people who DON'T EVEN POSSESS A BACHELOR'S DEGREE yet. I am a real contender for any English position you might have.
What she said: I don't care if you have a Ph.D. All we want to know is if you are certified....:(

A Modern Day "Rich Man and Lazarus"

2010-03-23T13:19:00.001-07:00

Lately, I have been completely shocked and disheartened by the savage rhetoric concerning the healthcare reform. To quote Barney Frank "There are many reasonable people with good reasons to be against it." I am not 100% for healthcare reform, and to be honest, I really don't care much about it at all. I don't think insurers should be allowed to drop cancer patients, nor should they be able to deny coverage for preexisting conditions like cancer, diabetes nor asthma. (As of today, they cannot due to the legislation).

However, what disturbs me and offends my Christian sensibilities is the rhetoric and treatment of peoples involved in the discussion.

Before you read on, check out this video of a man with Parkinson's who is taunted by people who disagree with healthcare reform.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxCfLwUsUtM&feature=youtube_gdata

Did you make it through the whole video? I'd be surprised if it didn't make you ill. I personally felt sick. It reminded me of a modern day playing out of The Rich Man and Lazarus. If you've forgotten the story, here it is.

Text
Luke 16:19-31
[19] "There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. [20] At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores [21] and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
[22] "The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. [23] In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. [24] So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'
[25] "But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. [26] And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'
[27] "He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, [28] for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'
[29] "Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'
[30] " 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
[31] "He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

First, I want to be clear about what I am not saying. I am NOT saying that if you do not support health care, you are going to hell. I am NOT saying that in order to get into heaven, you should desire adequate health care for ever person on the planet paid for by our government.

I am saying that these protesters actually treated the man with Parkinson's disease WORSE than the Rich Man treated Lazarus. The Rich Man only ignored Lazarus, these men actually hurl taunts and insults at the disease ridden man who is (begging) for healthcare. Lazarus was sent to hell for his treatment of the beggar....you can draw your own conclusions about what our Lord must think of those who hurl insults like these at a beggar.

If this were an isolated incident, I would chalk it up to mistakes being made out of anger. But it is not. Repeatedly, those on the Right, Republicans, have acted similarly. Check out these confirmed incidents in the NYT.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/23/opinion/23herbert.html?src=me&ref=homepage

Spitting on a man while hurling racial and bigoted comments? Surely the Right, who has been repeatedly drilled in my mind as "Christian", can do BETTER than this!

Disagree with healthcare if you want: there are many reasons why you might not like it. But for goodness sakes, PLEASE don't be so hateful. If the Republican Right claims to be Christian, accept responsibility for this, repent, and move forward in a loving manner. Find ways to civilly disagree with the current administration. Write letters. Discuss in small groups. Pray to our Lord. But we should never treat another human this way, esp. if we consider ourselves Christian. And the link between Republicans and Christians has been welded into my brain. All Christians should know how the story ended with Lazarus. It should be a lesson in caring for and loving those God puts in our path.

New Shoes

2010-03-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

Remember the magic of buying new shoes? Just by putting on a pair of shoes and jumping in them, you then realized that these shoes had special powers! They made you run faster, jump higher, and endowed you with special knowledge. And, if you were lucky (my children are indeed lucky), then your mom or dad might let you wear the magic shoes out of the store. That was our day today. Jack and Molly both needed new shoes. The last time we purchased shoes for them was August, so it was time. We went to the Galleria b/c I had a coupon for 20 bucks off at Nordstroms, and found those magic shoes. Jack and Molly bursted out of the store into the mall, dashing in and out of people who were trying to shop in peace. When we got home, Jack and Molly both invented a game about their new shoes.

Jack calls himself "Panther Man", and he is a super hero who fights crime. Molly Ann is a super hero named "style savy", (her words), and she lives in Grapevine and fights crime. Jack's shoes light up, and Molly's are sparkly. They are in a magic world right now. I love having a four and six year old, when even a trip to the mall to get shoes is filled with wimsy and fantasy.

The Waiting Place

2010-03-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

Spring Break can't come fast enough for me. Tomorrow and Saturday are packed to the brim. Tomorrow is Jack's class party....and the teacher isn't going to be there. YIKES! Saturday, I teach all day, and I have to finish grading my comp. 2's first essays, plus prepare for Hamlet (okay...the Hamlet thing isn't really work for me.) In fact, it's a joy because I have a captive audience to discuss Shakespeare.....
Still, my fav. thing to do is nothing, and this is just way to busy. My parents are travelling to Beaver's Bend OK. with us on Wed., so I am excited to take the kiddos to a different place and hopefully break our dependence on TV and other media outlets. Really, though, I am wanting and needing a real break, from everything. I want to loll around in bed, eat bon bons, watch Housewives of Orange County or Jersey, schedule a massage and a pedicure, shop shop shop, and that's about it. Okay, wait...that's really my life. (joking of course).

I am trying to find a full time teaching job, and it is really much harder than when I quit 6 years ago, when Jack was a baby. I knew this might happen: I even discussed its possibility with Mike before I quit. I also don't know if it is what God wants for me. I am having a hard time waiting patiently to find what I should be doing. I can't decide if I should go all out, call every single contact I have, or if I should sit quietly and let God do the work. I've seen him work for me in my career. He does it a lot more smoothly than I do. My two last full time jobs were both God things. In Arlington, I went to a meeting to substitute teach when Mike and I moved in the middle of the year, and they made an announcment that "anyone with ESL ceritifaction should come down front to talk about a job." I was the only one that stood up. I was hired in two weeks. The other time, I signed a contract with a 3000 signing bonus at Fort Worth ISD, and two months later was called by the principal at Lamar High...3 minutes from my house, because I had a reading certification and he thought I had graduated from Bowie High in Arlington. The day of the interview, one of his full time English teachers quit, and I was literally hired that day to teach high school English.
I am not expecting a repeat of this experience, so we'll have to wait and see, just like the waiting place Dr. Seuss describes in Oh The Places You'll Go:

"You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.Except when you don'tBecause, sometimes, you won't.I'm sorry to say sobut, sadly, it's trueand Hang-upscan happen to you.You can get all hung upin a prickle-ly perch.And your gang will fly on.You'll be left in a Lurch.You'll come down from the Lurchwith an unpleasant bump.And the chances are, then,that you'll be in a Slump.And when you're in a Slump,you're not in for much fun.Un-slumping yourselfis not easily done.You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?How much can you lose? How much can you win?And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?Or go around back and sneak in from behind?Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind."

It's hard to imagine the places God might take you when it is silent in your house, principal's and other contacts aren't calling you back, yet I know this is a fertile ground for faith. I know this is what many American's are facing, only for me, a job isn't imperative. I just feel ready to be back in a classroom full time. Keep me in your prayers! :) It would be nice to be out of the slump and back with highschoolers, who are both hilarious and infuriating at the same time.

Sad, But Trying To Be Happy

2010-03-05T17:26:00.000-08:00

My friend Jenny's death has left me very sad. Sad for my friend Paige, who still adores Jenny and will miss her forever. Sad for Malaya and David, her daughter and her husband. Sad for her brothers, two ministers whose faith is being tested in a real way, and sad for her mom and dad, who lost a beloved daughter too soon. I am struggling with my faith, too. How can God say no to so many prayers? I am trying to be positive, to just admit to God I am sad and feel distant from him right now. He understands. He is with me anyway, I'm sure. In an effort to feel happy again, I am going to blog and blog about my favorite things ever!

Favorite Food:
Pecan Pancakes with way too much syrup
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches on whole wheat bread
Potato Chips
Raw Cookie Dough

Favorite drinks:
Coffee: soy misto with 1 splenda
Green tea with splenda
Vodka Martini with three olives
Corona Light

Favorite Smokes:
Clove cigarettes...it's been at least a decade, still that sweet clove smell is one of my favs.

Fav. Songs
Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London...it makes me smile wherever I am
George Strait's You Look So Good In Love
Jimmy Buffett's Last Mango in Paris
Church Song: There's a Stirring

Fav. Clothes
Banana Republic

Fav. Vacation Spots
Mexico
Beaches
Disneyworld

Fav. thing to do
Nothing at all. Zoning out completely

Fav. TV Shows
Amazing Race
Modern Family
Talk Soup

Fav. Movies
Vacation movies
Sound of Music

Fav. Books
Vampire Books, any kind except Twilight
Borderlands by Anzaldua
Blue Jay's Dance by Erdrich
The Catcher in the Rye by Salinger

Fav. Scripture
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was
God. In him, all things were made. John 1
My Father's House has many rooms. If that were not true, Would I have told you I was going to prepare a place for you? John 14

Fav. Biblical Characters
The Woman at the Well, The Adulteress Woman, Martha and Mary.

Fav. Poet
Yeats

A Morning Prayer Answered

2009-12-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

Today, I am watching the snowflakes grow fatter and fatter, while my faith is being stretched and tested. Today, God answered a simple prayer from Jack. Jack watched the weather with me this morning, and the weatherman said it might not snow here in Grapevine. He began to cry. "I want it to snow," he said. I told him to pray about it. He told me to pray. I told him, no he could pray for snow, but to know going into the prayer that God sometimes doesn't answer prayers the way we want to. I feel horrible about this now. I lead Jack in prayer, because the first thing he wanted to say was "Lord, let it snow." I told him that first we thank God for our blessings, and then we can ask for additional things. I don't know if this is the correct formula, only one I have been taught repeatedly. He prayed. We watched TV. I snuggled with Molly only to hear Mike declare that it was snowing. Jack ran outside. He laughed. He yelled "Thank you Lord!" And I am still reeling because just last night, I was musing about how God doesn't answer prayers sometimes the way we want. I had just talked to a friend and laughed because we said God isn't a gumball machine where you put in good behavior and get out rewards. I still believe this. God is more than just the giver of good gifts. He defies human definitions. He is not a magic genie that provides whatever we want on command. Furthermore, I know many people who are righteous, have great faith, and have prayed for healing, jobs, peace ect. who have not had the response they want. God is still God in these instances, no matter what the CT scan says, no matter what the checking account says, no matter if you are homeless or have a beautiful home in the suburbs, God is still God outside of these things, and yet in them, too. As you can see, I am very confused and perplexed about how God works, and what prayers he answers and how. So, this morning, despite my confusion, I posted on FB knowing that my FB updates go to many unbelievers who would mock this simple assertion of faith that God would send snow because a 6 year old requested it. I sent it out because it is simply true. God answered Jack's prayer this morning. I went to the word for clarification, and this is what I found. In Matthew, Jesus is healing many people. Each one of them, he asks, "Can I do what you ask?" When they reply yes, they are healed. In Matthew 9:29 Jesus says "According to your faith will it be done to you."
I am not arguing that those who are not healed, those to whom jobs are not provided, those to whom spiritual healing isn't given don't have the faith to receive their requests. But, I am just pointing out that sometimes our God answers prayers quickly, concisely and decisively. He did this morning for Jack, who was grateful in a childlike, wonderful way. I am sure there is a lesson in this, but it is just beyond my level of understanding. I believe God is God and can do whatever he wants, but sometimes he doesn't. And the gap between what he does and he doesn't do is the fertile ground where our faith grows and matures. I cannot wrap my mind around our God and his power on earth and in heaven. I do not understand. Sometimes, I feel like Thomas: Lord, forgive my unbelief. Heal me of my earthly way of seeing and being in the world. Let me see what you see. But, that prayer itself is a scary one. I am afraid he just may answer it: and who knows what would become of me on this earth. A simple prayer answered can cause such turmoil. But, Thank you Lord for the simple, beautiful snow that floats down on this December morning. It is absolutely beautiful.

2009-11-19T16:57:00.001-08:00

An Image in Worship Service

2009-11-16T13:16:00.000-08:00

Sunday, Mike and I found ourselves not teaching Sunday School, and just able to sit and worship the Lord. When I spend too much time away from our King's throne in humble worship, I feel empty. I begin to doubt. I lose my faith. I want what I want, and not what the Lord wants. I become selfish and bitter. During the awesome praise at our church, I had to sit down. I was imagining myself as a lamb. I believe that God sends visions, images, and impressions from the Holy Spirit. It is the Spirit's job to fill us up with the truth about God. Here is the image I got, through my tears and repentance.

The Rescue

Alone on a grassy plain, cowering just below the waist high grass, a little lamb waits. It hears the hungry jackals growling. It knows its shivering body might provide their next meal.
Night presses in, slowly stamping out the light. The lamb closes its eyes. As the last sunlight makes a final flicker, a tall figure wades through the grass, making a direct path to the cowering, shivering lamb. The lamb, with its eyes closed, cannot see the shepherd whose concerned brow is melting into a smile as He sees the lamb---the one for whom he has searched. The shepherd walks through the pack of jackals, and they scatter like dust after a stout North wind. Their growling howling ceases, and the lamb hears the crackle of grass and assumes its doom is moments away.
A soft hand lifts up the lamb, whose quick breathing has not slowed. A soft pat on the lamb's fur is not what it expected, nor what it deserved after it intentionally left the protection and safety of its flock. The shepherd does not chide, nor does He say anything. The lamb peaks an eye open, sees in whose arms it is being carried, and its body relaxes. Saved--safe--the lamb is on its way home; it is finally able to rest.

A Good Gig

2009-09-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

On Saturday mornings this fall, when everyone in my neighborhood is still asleep, I am waking up and showering, preparing for class! I am teaching my first "official" college credit course this fall, and I am sooo excited! My friend, Bridgitte, recommended me at the Northeast campus, and the head of the dept. there had something that fit in my schedule. I don't like to teach during the times I have the kids, but I have done it in the past with the help of Nanna and Papa. So, he had a Sat. AM 1302 class, which is introduction to composition and literature. I am very, very excited about it. It was funny because I found out the first day almost everyone is taking this class because the others were full. Still, I have 27 students. We have only had three classes, adn the three hours from 8 until 11 go soo fast! (I am absolutely sure that this is not the case for my students...but I hope it is). I try to keep it as interactive as possible, but still see people dozing off in the beginning. It makes me laugh to think about what they have all been doing the night before. I have two girls who are new moms, so I am sure they are up with the babies at night. I have quite a few traditional students, and they look pretty darned tired. The kids stay with Mike at home. I will miss a few of Jack's tball games, but I am okay with this. I am not sure if my ultimate goal is to try to work full time at TCC, or to get a job at an area high school, but I am thankful in the meantime I can put this on my CV. I love it!
In other news, Molly Ann's first ballet class on Monday, and Jack's first acting class is Thursday. He is pumped about acting class. I LOVE this about him! Although we still don't know if he'll be an athlete, a band person, or a Drama King, it makes me smile to think about how excited he is for acting class. Not so much for t-ball. Both Molly and Jack have some weird cold thing. The rainy weather isn't helping.

Too Good To Forget

2009-08-25T07:55:00.001-07:00

Now that we're settled in, I feel like I can possibly blog again. Plus, this is tooo good not to record. Yesterday was Jack's first day of school--sigh--sob--cheer. We LOVE his teacher: she's an ACU alum with many years experience and an MA in early childhood. She is calm and kind, which you notice immediately when you shake her hand through a tear-smudged kleenex. I thought we were in the clear: no more crying (mom of course, Jack went in and was seemingly fine). Yesterday, when I picked up sweet Jack, he informed me he wasn't staying at school because it is haunted; he thinks he saw a ghost. Jack is pretty full of imagination, so I just ignored him. Well, this morning, he confided in me his plan to make a break for it and head home to watch TV in his underwear. When you think about it, who wouldn't prefer to do this work? It is certainly my dream job. And, this coming from a boy who once asked me if his daddy went to work every day. When I said yes, he said "GreatI can stay home for the rest of my life and play video games." Hmm.
I had to rat Jack out to his teacher, who told the office and all her fellow teachers that they might have a runner today. I told her through tears. So embarassing. She probably said something like "here is Jack McCormack. His mother, an emotional wreck, has passed the trait on to her son who is planning to split and head straight for a life of education-free Wii games, ultimately culminating in owning his own comic book store in a seedy part of LA." Okay. Maybe not. But, I couldn't see what she was saying through my tear smudged Kleenexes. It was really hard to leave him looking kinda glum, wondering if he really was measuring the distance between his line in the cafeteria and the front door. This is a trait that was passed on through both the McCormack and Bain genes. I personally hated Kindergarten, and Jack's grandpa, Paul, actually made a break for it from 1st grade and made it all the way home. I hope he'll love it more and more as time goes on. I hope I'll quit the tears before I leave him when he is 21 and when owns comic book store in a seedy part of LA. Surely this gets easier.

Graduation Day, a Loose Tooth, and Gratitude

2009-05-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

Mike just took the kids this Saturday morning to take Jack to get a haircut. Molly is going too. This is the first time in 5 years that he has left with them and I have no papers do write, research or grade! I cannot believe that after 5 years of sometimes very hard work, I am going to GRADUATE! I imagined what it would be like to have an MA in English: the doors that might open in my career, the feeling of accomplishment, the gratitude to God for providing me such an awesome support system. I am surprised and happy that this day is finally here. Dr. R, my committee chair, is going to put thegraduate hood that denotes my degree on me. My whole family will be there to celebrate, either at graduation, or on Sunday at Pappadeaux.

Coincidentally, we are moving at the beginning of May, too. We are moving to Grapevine. I am excited for the schools and the town. Sometimes here in Fort Worth/Keller, I have felt liminal, like we didn't really have a "city" of our own. I am glad to have that identity again.

Also an interesting convergence is that Jack's second tooth is loose. It seems like just yesterday when that tooth, on the bottom, left of center, came in to accompany it's comrad, who has long since given way to a grown up tooth, too. Now, I have an almost 6 year old kindergartener, and a precious and precocious four year old who demands attention and admiration. I realize once again how quickly time slides past us, while we navigate the days that seem slow, almost like slogging through. I feel like I put my head down to feel the tip of Jack's juicy, slobbery tooth, and looked up to see him losing it. It feels like slow motion and fast forward all at the same time. This makes me so thankful that the one who propels time, the one who invented teeth and babies, families and love, literature and words, and who possesses eternity is holding my hand, navigating me through the seemingly mundane days and the momentous occasions, too. I am truly in awe of His abiding love, which never leaves us. For me, his love manifests in family, in words, in a presence and a daily knowing that directs my steps and seeming missteps. I realize that this knowing is a gift from him, and it is called faith. As I walk across the stage today, and see my family, Jack and his wiggily tooth, Molly and her wiggily body, Mike and his smile, and my parents and their constant, undeserved adoration and acceptance, that God is guiding these momentous steps across the stage, even as he guides the daily steps down the hallway to fetch water, a snack, or to switch the laundry over or steps to Jack's room as he complains that "another tooth feels funny". I will realize that God is in the stands, with Jack's tooth, with Molly's squirmy soft body, with my parents love and with husband's devotion. He propels this love, these gifts that are always changing and yet staying the same. I am so grateful for every breath he has given me over these 5 years, and over my life. I am so glad that Jesus enables this relationship and fosters my faith and commitment. I am in awe of my heavenly family, who has provided such blessings to me.

Thanks Mike,Nana and Papa

2009-03-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

I am finished with the first draft of my thesis! I turned it in today, after some funny, crazy happenings. The point is, though, that it is in. The first draft is out of my hands, and it feels exhilarating and stressful at the same time. When you've had a big project, you know that when it is done, the phantom of it stays with you for a while until you get used to putting down that burden.
I had some AMAZING help, though, and I really believe that I couldn't have done it without Nana, Papa and Mike. These people are such blessings in my life: they are tangible evidence of God's deep and enduring love for me. I am grateful for the help they have given me. These three people have stayed by my side, endured my whines, and watched Jack and Molly so I could focus on the various stages of my paper. Although, the end of this story has yet to be written: for instance, I don't know if it will be accepted by the committee, and once it is accepted, I may crumble in my thesis defense. However, I am pleased to have moved one more step forward, and I totally acknowledge the help I have received from my family.
I also had something really neat happen about Molly and Jack during my two week hiatus from blogging. The first is about Molly. Her teacher caught me and told me that "it is awesome to see when a child's heart for God like Molly's is!" I think this is the most amazing compliment I have every gotten about her. I love it.
And, Jack lost a tooth! We are so excited that the tooth fairy came to visit. I have pictures, which I swear I will post next time I am online.
In the meantime, I just want to say a prayer of thanksgiving for my amazing family and the many ways they reveals God's love to me!

The Amazing Molly Ann

2009-02-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

I went back to look at my blog, and I realized I have been so careful not to brag about Molly that I have not recorded any of her truly amazing stories or abilities! God has blessed Molly with a great mind and an amazing intellect. We knew this early on. I have recorded that her first word was at six months--bottle. She quickly put my bottle, molly bottle, bottle now, and JACKson together. Language has been easy for her. She was talking in two word sentences before she was 18 months. She knew nursery rhymes. Before she was two, when we were cruising with Nana and Papa, she said to everyone on the ship, "Have you seen my curls? They're beautiful". She could also tell people she was from Keller, TX, and that she was not two yet. Around the age of two, I began reading Yeats to her and teaching her to quote it. She could quote Yeats around the age of two, including "Shy one Shy one Shy one of my heart, she walks in the firelight pensievely apart. She carries in the dishes in a row, to an island in the water with her I would go." My rationale in teaching her this poetry was she already knew all her nursery rhymes, and Yeats' rhythm and style was similar to nursery rhymes. She was amazing. At her first day of preschool, when she was two, she could say, "Don't touch my cash register. It's mine. I want to play with it". It seems like she has always been able to communicate, and her memory is truly a thing of wonder. Yesterday in the car, she told me she went to the store and bought a "lacebark elm tree for 39 dollars" which is what we paid for ours in the back yard a year and a half ago, which is when I told her the story.

At her 18 month check up, the doctor suggested that she was gifted, and that I consider introducing latin and spanish to her. When she broke her arm before she was two, she knew the latin name for the bone: humerus. The doctor was amused, but not overly impressed. Perhaps he thought I was an overbearing mother. She also knew phalanges, cranium, madible, patella, spine, femur and phalanges as toes. She is extremely articulate, and is already writing words and her name, although it is all backwards because she is left handed, something that was clear to us as soon as she could hold a pencil.

One difficult thing about her giftedness is that she is sooo stubborn. On the cruise and at different times before she was two, I used to tell people there is a reason most toddlers cannot talk: you cannot imagine how mean they can be. I remember before she was two, when we were at an airfield with friends, a boy took away her plane. She told him: "Hey kid, I am just a little girl named Molly. You shouldn't take my toys."

It has been soooo rewarding to me to watch her development sky rocket. I think that is why I haven't written about it. Because I AM SOOO proud of her. I also know what it is like to watch your child struggle to develop skills: Jack didn't write until this year, when he was five! It was so hard to wait on his brain to develop those skills. Of course, he was not struggling, he was, like all children do, developing at his own pace. Molly's pace is just staggering, and when I blog, I don't want to seem like one of THOse moms. She is my Achilles heal: I am in love with her and wrapped around her little finger, as the whole family is. She adores Max, and says he is her favorite cousin. She loves the whole family. Her love is strong and overpowering, and I can tell it is a love that will not ever end. She just has a power or a way about her that brings people in and makes them feel loved. Every day when I go to pick her up, her teachers or employees at the school I don't know tell me how special Molly makes them feel by remembering their names and waving and acknowledging them during the day. When she saw her teacher from last year, she said I miss you miss Susan, but I love my new teachers, too. Molly does things Big, and I love to sit and watch the world through her eyes.

She says that she wants to be a doctor or a vet when she grows up, but definitely a Mommy. One of the absolute most special things about her is her relationship with God and Jesus. Last Easter, we taught her about Jesus's sacrifice. She talks about it often, and thanks Jesus during the day for the beauty of the sky, or animals, or plants that she loves. She told Mike the other night that when she sleeps, God holds her in his hands and she shares her day with him. I do not doubt this at all: Molly's heart is really pure and special. I know he talks to her. She loves him, and talks about him ALL the time.

I am most afraid that something will happen to her, and that I won't get to see her talents grow into fruition. I am not sure what God has in mind for her. I would like her to be a medical missionary or a preacher, maybe a vet and most definitely a mommy because she is sooo nurturing. Every night when I go to bed, I pray that God will keep our family together for as long as possible, and I pray that I will get to see my children grow into amazing children who love him.

I believe I have made a mistake, though, trying to hide her giftedness. I should be proud of the gifts God has given her, and I should not be embarassed about them at all. One funny thing about both her and Jack is that they were gestated on Shakespeare: Jack when I taught it and read it aloud, and Molly Ann when I studied theory in a Shakespeare class at UTA. I believe Molly absorbed the drama: she is a force that demands attention and recognition. She loves to paint, to write words, to color and to learn knew things. She is also very dramatic: a trait she gets from me. She whimpers and cries when she wants anything, and she throws herself around like a great Shakespearean actress, like Lady McBeth or Gertrude from Hamlet. I LOVE IT. And, I love that God has blessed us with the treasure that is Molly Ann. I know every child is a gift from God. It's just Molly is mine, and I see that she is a little different, and special in surprising ways that make my heart swell and warm. She is absolutely a blessing to me.

A February Christmas Poem

2009-02-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

One different byproduct of my life is poetry. I was going to throw away my gradebook for TCC, but I found this poem that I want to record before I chunk the gradebook. I find things I write a lot at weird times--I should really get a journal and staple it to me. But, alas, I cannot. Here it is, reworked a bit:

Christmas to me

Christmas to me isn't the beginning or the ending,
But it is miraculous!
The creator and king--tiny and helpless,
Held in the hands of the created.
To unbelieving hearts, it is downright perverse that a King would stoop to save.
He became so vulnerable, his infant head pulsed with life.
His mother, not more than a child herself,
Cuddling the one whom the seas obey.
Yet, he could not form a word,
Only gurgle a quiet plea for warmth or milk or comfort.
A woman--a girl really,
deciphering his every need.
A man, full of belief, but unsure of his role
as much as any new father is.
For that unmarked day in history brought:
A cure for the incurable,
Hope for the growing dispair,
A savior, whose sacrifice began as he emerged in a quiet stable in Bethlehem,
And as God filled his sweet new lungs with breath.

Funny Stories that made my sleepless night entertaining

2009-01-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

Jack and Molly were up all night off and on. And to top it off, I have a crick in my neck that won't go away! So, while I was waiting for Mike's oxycontin pills to take effect and whisk me off to off/on sleep, I was remember funny things about my childhood (like under the age of 10).

1. I really thought I was a boy. My favorite thing in the world was playing football/kickball/tetherball/ baseball against the boys. I wanted to beat them in any way I could. Unfortunately, sports were largely segregated by the boys. One time, I was playing football with a bunch of boys and one of the older players told me girls were DC, which means Don't Count.

2. I guess I had a lot of testosterone when I was younger, because I also liked to fight. Strange, I know. Once, my friend Veronica and I had a big war with the boys in our class. We squared off and faced each other. Veronica proceeded to kick me in the shin and she said, "This is my best friend. Look what I did to her. Just imagine what I'll do to you!" Ohhh, it left a huge bruise on me and a big impression on them. We didn't have a fight that day.

3. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a bartender or a professional wrestler. My mom used to come in when Veronica and I were serving "drinks" on my dresser. I remember beer was a quarter.

4. I used to have a huge crush on a boy named Clint. To show my love for him, I challenged him to a long distance race. I lost, and cried, and he didn't get the hint that I had a crush on him.

5. I used to love and still love FROGS!!!! When I was a little girl, I would kiss them thinking they would turn into a prince. Yuck. I also liked worms, bugs, and horned toads. I could catch them very quickly. Once, years later, when I was on a date with Mike, i saw a frog jump in some tall grass. Even though I was all dressed up, I dropped to my knees and caught the frog. Mike wasn't so impressed.

6. I had an onery club with my cousin Cathie. Mickie refused to join because the sole purpose of the club was to be mean to other people. One of the onery club's main jobs was to pester Dale and Cody. We planned year round activities to bother them.

7. The onery club communicated via aliens that lived in our ears. I truly, really believed this.

8. I hated to do any work in class, so I just didn't. I didn't care if I lost my recess (this happened all the time. the teacher would leave me in the class by myself while everyone went out for recess. i thought this was AWESOME! I used to draw pictures on the chalkboard and practice kissing wrestler David Von Erich!)

9. I had a doll I took to our super small church in Paradise Texas. Paradise Church of Christ. I would tell my mom that the baby needed to go outside. Then, I would go to the nursery and sing, play or read a book for the whole sermon.

10. Once, my cousin and I decided to throw kleenexes at the preacher of our church. We packed our purses with kleenexes and sat on the front row and giggled through the whole sermon, but we never threw one kleenex.

11. My friend Veronica and I shared a boyfriend, Jason. She was his girlfriend for football season and I was his girlfriend for basketball season.

12. I had another boyfriend, Randy. We started a kissing club. To join, you had to have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you kissed. When my dad found out, I literally thought I would die of embarassment. One year for Valentine's Day, he gave me some used perfume and a rock! And, I thought it was an AWESOME gift.

13. My brother Cody and I used to plan to have a fishing pond outside. WE dug a hole and as the water drained out of it, I would yell "Emergency" to Cody. He would race into the house and bring more water. We did this to test it to see if we could keep it full for if we bought fish for it. We worked on it all day, and when we woke up the next morning and it was empty, I remember feeling empty, too.

So, maybe I had a rought night with the kids, but I have some funny, funny memories of my own childhood.

My Favorite Lentil Soup Recipe

2009-01-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

I have been making this super easy, super cheap lentil soup recipe that I made up. I want to share it because it is perfect for the cold weather we are supposed to have on Saturday. And, it is really, really cheap. Lentils are less than one dollar at Walmart for a whole package. For this recipe, you'll need:

1 cup of dry lentils, rinsed well
1 package of lipton soup, mushroom and onion
1/4 c each of chopped celery, carrots and onions
1 small package of mushrooms (or not if you hate them)
1 clove of garlic
a splash of olive oil to give the soup richness
crushed black pepper to taste
sprinkle of cayenne if you like it hot

Okay, you just mix it all up with three cups of water. Let it boil covered for 45 minutes to one hour, and then you have enough fresh soup to last the week. I put salsa on mine because I love salsa, and it gives it a little zip. Also, lentils are excellent for you and so are mushrooms. Mushrooms evidently have anti-cancer properties--so do onions.
Hope you guys try it and like it.

My Winter Coat

2009-01-13T16:43:00.001-08:00

Hope you guys aren't offended by this, but since October I have been eating with abandon! In October, as we drove up to Houston, we stopped at a diner that was featured in Texas Monthly, some kind of Dixie place. I had chicken fried steak covered in peppery gravy and mashed potatoes...my favorite. Afterwards, when we stopped to refuel, I got a Twix Bar and a coke. Mike asked me if I was putting on a winter coat for the cold winter...of course, I hit him with as much of my girth behind that punch as possible and kept eating. I have eaten my way through the fall and now, I am warm and cozy and about 10 pounds heavier. To be honest, I am trying to fight the urge to burrow underneath my red oak or deck and sleep away my thesis! I am not sure there is enough caffeine in the world to jump start my metabolism or my desire to do anything but watch Top Chef while sipping a hot chocolate it is supposed to be sugar free). At least I have enjoyed Oprah's company in my winter coat endeavor. Alas, she has abandoned our coat factory and is opting for a healthier lifestyle. For Christmas, I made every cookie I could think of and ate as many as possible, while trying to look respectable. I even have a new favorite cookie: snow balls. They are like pecan sandies dusted with sugar and filled with white chocolate chips. They are heavenly, and I think I am carrying a snowball in each butt cheek. Since January, I have been trying to eat less, but it is soo hard, especially with my new kitchen aid mixer. Tonight, I made garlic foccacia bread....YUM! We have also had homemade pretzels, cake, and angel food cake! I am hoping to shed my extra winter coat, but I am having major difficulties. I had a friend pat my belly and ask me if I was expecting a third: I told her the truth was cookies and a lot of them, and I didn't even bat an eye or cry. Alas, I know that come tank top and swim suit weather, and I will have another break down in the Neiman Marcus dressing room as I curse spandex and swimsuits and consider the plastic surgery cards that are left on the table to the right of the dressing room. Perhaps this spring's swimsuit season will be the impetus that finally makes me move to Burlington, Vermont, where my winter coat will serve me well.

Happy Anniversary!

2009-01-03T21:20:00.000-08:00

Mike and I will celebrate our 12th anniversary tomorrow! YEAH!!!! I am in awe that God has blessed us with 12 years--15 if you count the years we dated, which I do. We celebrated over a plate of steaming hot enchiladas and chicken soft tacos at Chuy's, Mike's favorite restaurant. I managed to eat my own weight in chips and salsa. Then, we spent a very long time shopping at the outlet's in Allen. Lastly, and most importantly, we went to Sprinkles cupcakes in Dallas, and I finally tasted the greatness that is a chocolate peanut butter cupcake. Holy cow, they are, as Aunt Lisa puts it, totally worth the calories. N and P have the kiddos for the weekend. We didn't actually travel anywhere this year, mostly because my tuition for school is due, and it is very expensive this semester as I had to pay for 6 hours in order to defend my thesis. If it is not finished by May, I will have to repay for it. That totally stinks. So, in light of this, we opted for a toned down celebration. In honor of our 12 anniversary, I am going to write down 12 things I have learned from my 12 great years of marriage.

1. Never leave your house after a fight with your husband to go and get rawhides for your new dog and a six pack of beer at Randalls for you if you aren't absolutely sure you didn't leave your wallet at home with your husband.

2. Do not lie to your husband when you are moving to another town if he lives in that town about how many boxes you have packed. He will find out that you have been laying on the sofa eating Krispy Kremes and potato chips when he comes up to load the trailer so you can move to the new town with him!

3. Do not ever yell obsenities at your husband as he works late at his job. Around midnight, he will tire of your tantrums and put you on speaker phone. Everyone will not be amused when you threaten to blow up the building.

4. Do not lie to your husband and try to look loving and unselfish by assuring him you really, absolutely, 100% Do NOT WANT a Valentine's Day gift because he has been working 80 hour weeks as Valentine's Day approaches. He will believe you, and ruin your first married Valentine's Day. Take this rule and apply it to everything. Be honest. If you are selfish, come clean: he can't divorce you if he is Church of Christ or Baptist, and you'll get great presents for each holiday.

5. Do not send your husband off with your Father on a skiing adventure because you really would rather shop in Santa Fe and assume he will come back uninjured.

6. When your husband has surgery to repair his skiing injury, and your are sick of his every request and need for help, do not park close to other cars and laugh to yourself as he struggles to get out of the car. This is not funny and you will feel guilty about it, and he will remind you about it forever.

7. Do not go in with your parents and trick your husband by telling him your parents are buying the home next door just to see his reaction. He will not laugh, and it is not funny to joke about stuff like that!

8. When someone compliments your husband, do not make gagging noises. It is not amusing to anyone but you.

9. When your husband returns from long business trips, do not ask right where the hell your gift is.

10. Do not hit the newspaper or try to take it away when your husband is reading it.

11. Do not say that it is the worst Christmas ever in a loud voice where others can hear the first Christmas you spend with his family.

12. Do not call him yuck mouth and swear you will not kiss him after the dentist says he could have gengivitis. Karma or something will come back and get you and you will have a huge number of cavities that will help you remember to keep your mean mouth closed.

13. Mike asked me to add this one. Don't change the channel every time sports comes on the news or anything else. His sighs are not sighs of adoration. He is totally annoyed.

Happy Anniversary, babe. I love you!

McCormack Family Christmas

2009-01-01T09:43:00.000-08:00

We celebrated with the McCormack's on Sunday. What fun!!! Uncle Myles and Aunt Lisa came, and the kids were completely smitten! It was an awesome, fun day!

Weird ACU Website

2009-01-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

Here is a website called weirdacu, that contains strange and interesting facts about Abilene Christian, mine and Mike's alma matter. Here is the link: http://weirdacu.wordpress.com

Happy New Year! Last night, I crashed out well before even New Year's in New Zealand! It was a crazy day, that culminated in Mike taking me to Rosa's so I could get two margaritas for supper. Molly ann has been in rare form lately. I forget she is three because she is very verbal, and her language is quite sophisticated. Yesterday, just yesterday, I had to tell her to climb down from the roof of the train at the Science Museum twice!, I had to scold her for running out with no abandon in front of the throng of people at Central Market. (This, after two prior "heads up" to she and Jack about why they must be careful while walking in a parking lot of seriously focused foodies driving large SUV's gathering their New Year's Even dips and spirits.) And, finally, she got a spanking for unbuckling her seat beat while traveling on I35! The spanking came after numerous past warnings that such activity is dangerous and can result in a ticket for mommy. Then, when Mike came home, my little angel turned into Rick Flare and jumped from the sofa onto Mike just to get him to grunt in pain. This "playful" activity resulted in a back injury for Molly when she fell off the arm rest of the couch (read: her ropes for a wrestling ring) and onto a plastic doll house! She squirmed and screamed, and my heart was broken, and I needed a Rita. So, off we went. Then, I was tooo tired to focus, and when they went to bed, I followed in short order. Today, she has seemed much calmer. Perhaps yesterday wore her down, too.
I am glad 2009 is here, but I am sorry to see 2008 go. It has been a blessed year for my family. Ironically, I know others have suffered unknowing and financial stresses I cannot begin to understand. I am thankful for them that this year is over. Our house has not been unaffected by the turmoil. We have lost a good deal of money, too. They have also cut back at TCC, and my classes may not make this semester, which is kind of stinky, but okay because I trust everything will work out for the best. It is just that we have enough, and our Lord has taken care of our needs and even some of our wants, too. Beyond finances though, and a broken arm and a few visits to the Urgent Care center for Jack's asthma, we have been overwhelmingly healthy. I praise God for our health, as this is something that you cannot really purchase.

Here is a recap of 08 for the McCormack Haus!

Jan. 2008--Celebrated 11 years with Mike in San Antonio, thanks in part to a visit to view a Time Share. We entitled this vacation "TimeShareaversary" We found out they drain the River Walk in San Antonio at this time every year. We ate enough enchiladas to weigh 400 pounds each! Began Feminist Theory class, and really loved it. I know it is controversial, but I actually really enjoyed it and found the debates invigorating for my faith.
Feb. 2008--Trip to the ER with Jack's asthma
March --trip to Galveston with Cathie and her kiddos. It was freezing, but we had a blast!
April--Mike's birthday, and finished my theory class!
May--DisneyWorld with Mike's family. We stayed at the Polynesian: truly a once in a lifetime awesome trip.
June--Molly breaks her arm. She also celebrates her birthday at Chuck E Cheese
July--trip away to the Solana Mariott with Mike! Read The Shack and loved it. Celebrated 34 birthday! Shared a birthday cake with Nana at Uncle Julios. Max turned 1!!!
August--Trip to Galveston and Johnson Space Center with Mike's family. Three weeks later, the hurricane hit Galveston causing a great deal of horrible damage.
September--Begin writing my prospectus. jack and Molly start preschool.
October--Happy Halloween! We celebrated Halloween with Baby Bear Max, and my parents and Mike's parents. Molly was Gabriella and Jack was Optimus Prime.
November--Turn in prospectus!!!! Miss Dad and Cody's Birthday's because a sickness wipes out our whole family. We also missed Thanksgiving because of this one!
December--Prospectus is approved! We heal and celebrate the holidays. I also got a new car! YEAH!!! It has third row seats and the kids and I love it!

I hope this year heaps blessings on you all. Happy New Year. May you rest safely and securely in the shadow of our King's throne.
--

Christmas Day

2008-12-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

We drove to Granbury to share Christmas with my parents, my brother and sister in law, and their fab. baby Maddox. We went out that night and walked throught the Christmas Light's in downtown Granbury, where Jack sang with every step..."boring, boring, this is soooo boring." On the way back, Molly Ann told stories about Peter Rabbit that might make Beatrix Potter blush! In one, Peter rabbit poops on Mrs. McGregor's shoe! YIKES! We droped by CVS to get Mike some Benadryl. While we were waiting, we saw a couple go in and I told my mom that they were obviously cheating, because they were way too "into" each other. When Mike got in the car, he confirmed that that coupled headed straight to the "censored" aisle. I believe they are definitely on Santa's "very naughty" list for next year! Tomorrow, it will be the McCormack family Christmas! YEAH!!! Jack said it is like his birthday at every house, because he gets presents. And, one funny Jack story: A few weeks ago, I spanked him for lying to me on top of a laundry list of other things. He was so worried that this got him on Santa's bad list, he has mentioned it several times. He even confessed to Santa (papa) when he called on Christmas Eve night. Alas, when he got his Wii and a note from Santa saying he was indeed a good boy, he was absolved!

Christmas Eve Night

2008-12-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

We sat out our cookies and letters for Santa, and when we got up Santa had come!

Our first very small family Christmas

2008-12-27T18:13:00.000-08:00

This Christmas Eve, we went to our church's Christmas Eve service, where I got to serve wassail! Then, we came home, ate spaghetti and meatballs, and tore into our presents. We had such an awesome time.

Molly's Christmas Production

2008-12-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

These pics are from the Compass Christian Preschool Christmas Program. It was so fun to see pics of molly...it was the first time ever that I felt like we looked alike!

Feeling Guilty About The Gifts? Don't!

2008-12-24T06:08:00.000-08:00

Our preacher, Drew Sherman, and another preacher, Bo Chancy, have written an advent/ devotional book to help us focus our attention on Christ this season. Most Christian know the origins of the actual holiday, Christmas. After growing up in the old school C of C, I have known for a long time about the pagan element of Christmas. As I wrote last year, we celebrated Christmas growing up: my parents enjoyed it! In our church life, Christmas was acknowledged, but not really celebrated in any service around Christmas. Their thesis was that as Christians, we celebrate Christ's birth everyday. This is true, too. But, Drew's theory, which he illuminates through 25 short devotionals focused on the Biblical account of Jesus's birth, is that of course it is great to celebrate Christmas, and we should celebrate the greatest event in human history, the birth of God's only son into the world. This book has been a real blessing to my scrooge heart. I always feel guilty about presents. About spending too much. About not spending enough. About how much money we actually spend on Christmas. But, I am going to retype the Dec. 23rd devotion about Christmas entitled "The Gifts", because it really moved me this Christmas. Consider it my gift to you this Christmas Eve.

From Portraits of Christmas by Drew Sherman and Bo Chancy. pgs. 149-151

"On coming to the house, they saw the child and his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then, they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh." Matt. 2:11

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1

I love talking with kid's at this time of year....I enjoy asking them questions. I like to start with, "What is the meaning of Christmas?" The universal response is almost always, "GIFTS!"

Now for some Christians, that response is alarming and would incite an immediate rebuke. I, on the other hand, encourage the children. I let them know that Christmas is all about the gifts. It started with the perfect present, the gift of a Father offering His Son. God initiated gift-giving on the very first Christmas when He gave the gift of salvation to the world.

Modern day gift-giving provides us with a great reminder and a wonderful teaching tool to instruct on the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas is the provision of the perfect gift. When we give gifts to each other, we are imitating our Heavenly Father by blessing those we love. It gives us the opportunity to experience the joy and blessings of giving.

Christmas is absolutely about the gifts. The Magi knew that. They traveled from afar to bring gifts to the newly born King. They brought what was precious to them and made their offering as an act of worship. The gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh were appropriate gifts to offer a king.

I think the Magi had the right idea. Wouldn't you like to give God a gift this Christmas? Have you ever wondered what He would want? What could we possibly give the almighty God?

There really is only one answer. We give Him our lives. That is what God desires. Our perfect gift to God is a surrendered heart and an obedient life. Go ahead and splurge this Christmas and Give yourself completely to God.

Prayer for Today

"Father, on Christmas Eve I thank you for the gift of Jesus. I praise you for your generosity and I want to discover the joy of giving in my life. Help me see the gifts in proper prospective this Christmas. I offer myself to you. My gift to you is me. Merry Christmas!"

I'm Approved!

2008-12-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

Finally. I began in August, and I just found out today that I am approved to write my thesis on Louise Erdrich! YEAH!!!!! IT has been a long process, through which God has taught me 1) confidence in my gifts that he has given me 2) patience while waiting on him 3) and the richness of his blessings for those who are confident and who learn to wait on him. Not to say that I haven't learned a great deal of humility, but honestly I started this project seriously doubting that I could do it, and feeling I needed lots of help from other students who don't necessarily understand my topic. I am thrilled to begin after Christmas!

Jack and Molly's Letters to Santa

2008-12-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

This year, we watched a Charlie Brown Christmas and then wrote our letters to Santa. Here are Jack's letters. I believe he may be a writer, as he had to go through 4 drafts to get it just right. Molly's letter is so sweet.

Letter 1

Dear Chubby,
How have your reindeer been? Have they been well? Do you have many toys? If so, then go man, go! If you have enough Wii games, then go man, go! I want a small Lightening McQueen that talks. Do you have enough Cars toys? Then, go! I still wanta Wii, too.

Letter 2

Dear Santa,
Ho! Ho! Ho! How have your reindeer been? Have they filled up on fruits? I want a big, fat LIghtening McQueen that moves and talks. (At this point, I asked where such a toy could be acquired, and was informed that he made this toy up.)

Letter 3

Dear Samatha Claus (a joke from Charlie Brown),
(I asked Jack if this would get him what he wanted. He said no and began another letter).

Letter 4

Dear Santa Claus,
I hope you got 1st prize as a trophy. I've been a little bit good all year. I want a big nerf gun. I want a Wii with a Sonic game rated E for everyone.
Love,
Jack

Molly's Letter

Dear Santa,

I hope you had a good day. I think you should give me a princess Wii game. I still like the Polar Bear Barbie vet doll, and the puppies would be good, too.
Molly

Thanks Paige! I AM SECOND

2008-12-08T18:07:00.001-08:00

my friend, paige, posted this on her blog. i've seen the billboards, but didn't look at what it was. this is so cool; i love it when people can share their testimony. please, check out this site. i really love to hear about how jesus has changed lives. here is stephen baldwin's testimony, along with quite a few others. i have to agree with stephen and paige, i am SECOND!
http://www.iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Stephen_Baldwin/

One Last picture

2008-12-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

Holiday Pics

2008-12-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

We tried to get outside today because Jack is finally feeling much better. The weather was warm, and we got Jack's hair cut. They were in rare form.

Holiday Pictures

2008-12-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

Happy "Sick" Thanksgiving

2008-11-29T07:08:00.000-08:00

A Confession: Recently, I've wondered why we call it turkey day if we eat turkeys on Thanksgiving. Not really a good day for turkeys...I hope they never name a day after me....just a random thought on little sleep this Thanksgiving. We've been sick here for two weeks! Molly came down with a cold two weekend's ago. I just tried to keep her hydrated, and motrined up. Then, Jack comes down with the same symptoms, runny nose that won't quit, lethargic, red yucky eyes. After his fever went up and his eyes looked like two red circles, I made an appointment on Monday morning at CareNow, because our pediatrician is in Mansfield. They got us right in, and after about thirty minutes, they looked at his ears. Double ear infection. I asked them to look at Molly, so they made her a chart and low and behold, she has an ear infection, too. I asked the doctor about requiring antibiotics for ear infections, as on top of no sleep and sick kids, I didn't want the added guilt of fueling the super-bugs that are antibiotic resistant. She said it was just a trend in medicine, and she'd been around long enough to know that ear infections and chest colds require antibiotics. I also got a lecture on letting Jack's cold go because of his asthma, the doctor said it is much worse on him. Although, when she listened to Molly's chest she said she sounded awful, too. We left the CareNow two hours after we arrived, with prescriptions in tow, and a hopefullness that our trip to Houston with Mike's family would not be ruled out. I went ahead and taught class--it was our final exam, and there is no way to miss it. Over the last week, Jack has just now started to get better. Molly Ann seems totally healed, but Jack's cough was so yucky last night he actually threw up green gunk. He was/ is still sick, although his eyes look better and his chest sounds better. Despite his gradual recovery, we finally decided on Wednesday night not to drive to Houston with two sick kids...it turned out to be a good idea. I went to Central Market late at night, bought some turkey and stuffing and made the rest of Thanksgiving dinner myself. Uhh, it didn't turn out great, or awesome, but it passed as a Thanksgiving dinner. This chest cold has been a real toughy, with a long incubation period, so we also didn't drive to Granbury for my parent's Thanksgiving. We did manage to expose Max last Saturday, but that guy escaped the worst of it, thankfully. (good immunity from daycare!). We are pretty tired, but we did manage to go to Neiman's at Grapevine Mills where they were offering incredible deals, and 20% off your total bill with your Neiman's card. We did quite well and knocked out a lot of our Christmas shopping. The mall was unbelievably crowded, so that was all the shopping we did. We missed being with our extended family, but I can tell my own family needed a relaxing time at home to heal and be well. It was a good reminder that the best gift we can possibly have is good health. So, even though excellent health eluded us this Thanksgiving, we seem to be recovering with massive amounts of cough syrup, decongestants, and antibiotics. Literally, thank God for modern medicine. I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving dinners and time with their family.

This Weekend

2008-11-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

We drove to Dallas to give Cody his birthday present. Happy Birthday, Cody! We got to play with baby Max...he is such a smart boy! He can make the funniest goat sound, and when he shows us his "teeth", it is soo cute! I know the kids enjoyed visiting cousin Max. We tried to get some pics of the kids, unfortunately, most of them turned out like the one on the left. After visiting with Max and his parents, we drove to Harold's Clean Sweep. I must admit, I was pretty disappointed. The sales weren't great. I expected it to be rock bottom cheap prices, but Harold's actually hiked up the prices to try to get more out of their bankruptcy money, I guess. We have actually gotten much better prices there just on a regular day. The same shirts Mike bought for 10 dollars were now selling for 30. I know the price was listed at 90, but come on, who can really charge that for a untailored dress shirt. Anyway, then we drove to Ikea where we found great deals! We bought shelves for Jack's room, and a book shelf for Molly's room. Molly's book shelf was only 30 bucks, half price from its original. And, because I have been freezing, we bought a down comforter and a duvet, which I love. The down comforter reminds me and Mike both of European covers, and last night I actually dreamed we were staying at the Berger Pension again, where we spent three nights when we were in Heidelberg, Germany. Mike says that on all his trips to Helsinki, the hotels used the same down comforters. It is strange to be in the middle of suburbia, dreaming of Heidelberg or Vienna. It is funny, though I am sure that is what middle class suburban dreams are made of, thoughts of quaint hotels in Europe and wonderful Disney vacations. (My dreams, at least) Frau Berger, the lady of the Berger pension, was a tart filled with personality. I know we were too young to stay there; most of the guests had like thirty years on us. Anyway, I guess that is why I love Ikea...it is neat to have something so European here in the states, a mere drive away. Here are pics of the kids rooms. I really have to say I think both of their rooms are too cute now. I hope everyone else had a great weekend, too.

True Story, I Swear

2008-11-20T16:37:00.000-08:00

I was in the kitchen tonight, and Jack comes in and asks me if I want a present. I say sure, thinking he has drawn a picture or something. He leads Molly in walking backwards, and she has her undies down. She points to her bobo and says, "here". I couldn't help but laugh, which of course garnered that trick over and over. I think we need to just say no to cable tv or something.

Back to the Newborn Days

2008-11-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not pregnant. Molly Ann has been sick since Sunday with a chest cold. When she has a chest cold, she throws up in the middle of the night. Mike and I have been up all night off and on with her, patting her back and sympathizing. I have to admit, he is a little better at night than I am. Usually, though, after a few nights without sleep, I hit my stride and am okay.
My point, though, with this blog is that although you leave those sleepless newborn nights behind, sometimes you get slapped back with a reminder of what is was like. WE are here with Molly right now. I have to admit, though, now that I am used to it, I really love taking care of her. She gives me sweet fake yucky faces, whines that she needs sprite, please, and otherwise is pretty cute when she is sick. Her hair sticks up like a hurricane has ravaged it. I am sure I'll never get the tangles out when I see her in the morning. I love this crazy girl! Even when she is whiny and sick and I am tired. I think she is getting better, though we were up last night with her. I slept next to her from 2 until 7. I love the feel of her cold body next to mine. (yes, for some reason she sleeps cold. IT is strange, and funny. Maybe she is part vampire? I would love it. ) She kicks all the covers off, kicks me, tries to place her legs on top of me, grabs my arm and coughs in my face. And, I can't help but smile!
What about you guys? Is there a time when unexpectedly, you fall madly in love with your children again, with their wild hair, gagging coughing and all?

Funny Jack Stories

2008-11-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

I am sure these stories will embarass him later, but he has been too funny lately. I'll admit, during each of these episodes, I was just a smidge embarassed for sweet Jack, but after confiding in my friend Jill, and my mom, they encouraged me to share the stories because they were hilarious.
Here goes:
In October of this year, I went to pick up Jack at school when his teacher flagged me down and asked for a chat. YIKES! I always try to get in and out as quickly as possible. She said that while she was putting on Jack's shoes, (he still hates to do this himself, although he is able, I swear) he began spitting bubbles out his mouth all the way down his shirt. She tells me his shirt was actually wet: Yuck. Anyway, she asked him why he was doing this. He replied that his brain was going crazy, and this caused him to spit. (At this moment she paused, looking at me with a pained, confused, and worried look on her face. I know she wondered if it was epilepsy, or another serious medical condition.) I told her I would talk to Jack and determine if a visit to the doctor to rule anything out was in line. When we got in the car, I said, Jack did your brain go crazy at school. He said, yeah, my brain when crazy thinking about robots and stuff, and then it made extra brain juice which I had to spit out. After he retold this story several times, I explained that teachers don't like to clean up brain juice, and he just needs to go to the bathroom to spit if he finds himself in such a predicament. Problem solved: no more brain juice incidents at school.
Second story:
I get a call from Ms. Bessie, his teacher, at 11 a.m. because she is worried about Jack. He has been scratching his head with his fingers so many times, and now he is on the carpet scratching his head on the carpet. She has checked him for lice, but is worried his allergies/asthma is causing problems. I rush to school to find that he is fine. WE get in the car, and I ask him what on earth happened. He tells me the fire ants jumped from Wyatt's head to his head, and they are trying to get into his brain. He has to get rid of them. You know, like Matty when she has fleas he says. No more itching the whole rest of the day nor the weekend. I told him not to scratch off the fire ants any more.
Third story:
I took a day with just Jack and left Molly at school. When we get in the car, I tell him how pleased I am that it is just us. I tell him I can't believe how much he has grown up. He explains that he doesn't want to grow up at all, because....he doesn't want me to get old and wrinkley. He thinks I am pretty like this, and as he gets older, he is sure I'll get wrinkles and get ugly. Uhhh. I assure him I will get wrinkley and old, but I will still be the same mommy who loves him. I don't think it helped.
Fourth Story
I told him the names of the candidates for the election. I did not discuss who we were voting for, as I didn't think it was important. I asked him who he would vote for, and he said John McCain. I asked him why, and he said that Barack Obama's name was weird and that he wouldn't vote for him. (Mike and I supported him throughout the primaries, and really liked Obama). It made us laugh so much to think about how that is exactly what the strategy against Obama was, that he was weird, scary, and an unknown. His name, especially his middle name, wasn't like our names. Note to the GOP, if my five year old develops a similar campaign strategy as you, you probably need to hit the think tank again and work on a new strategy.
He has been sooo funny lately, and I just wanted to save these memories so that if my brain makes extra juice, they won't be swept away!

Paging Mama Bear, and an Ethics Question

2008-11-05T17:04:00.001-08:00

Today while I was getting in the car to meet Mike to come and teach, a 13 year old boy hit a baseball that hit my garage door and almost hit Jack in the head. (We live across the street from a little league baseball field). I was so angry, I went to give him a piece of my mind, and he actually said that it is a baseball park. Oh my gosh. I almost called the police I was so angry. My goal is to get signs up saying the park is for children and their coaches 10 and under. I am going to hire an attorney because I have had to confront grown men hitting balls at our house! I know I channeled my inner mama bear, but good grief. All I could think about was how Jack has been hit in the head before. I am seriously hoping he will be a band guy and play the drums or something. I never knew parenting was field with such emotion!
And, here is an ethics question I faced tonight. I have a student who had a baby. We have been told not to allow children in the classrooms for many reasons, among them liability reasons. The studen with the sick new baby wanted to come into the computer lab where we were working and type while her son slept. I told her we weren't allowed to do this, and I could loose my job. I did direct her to the open computer lab, so they could make the call. I have to admit, I felt like I was part of a program of oppression. And, at the same time, I was angry that she wasn't devoting all of her attention to her sick infant son who is only a month old. Then again, how will she ever get ahead in such a situation. What do you guys think? Ironically, my students are right now typing an essay agreeing or disagreeing with a 50 dollartuition hike to provide a on site child care for parents trying to get ahead. (I made this up before the problem tonight.)

The Election Results Are In

2008-11-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

from Jack's transitional kindergarten class.
Obama 6
McCain 5
Chloe the Chihuahua 1

I know McCain is very frustrated with Chloe. How could she come out with such an awesome movie highlighting the benefits of free travel between Mexico and the US!

It is also funny the names the students came up with for each presidential candidate:
Aqua Bama
John McCain
John McVane
Bach Bahama

If you haven't checked out Mike Cope's blog on this Election Day, go ahead and check it out. Very uplifting. I myself, no matter the outcome, am thankful we live in a country where we can vote!
www.preachermike.com

A Quick Update

2008-10-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, Mike's grandfather died at 93. We travelled to Houston to attend the funeral. It was a sad time. Mike's dad is around 70; I can't imagine losing someone you've know for seventy years. Of course, he handled it with grace and dignity. It was actually nice to be with his fam., and to spend time with Myles and Lisa, both of whom I totally adore. The kiddos loved being with grammy whammy, so that was nice, too. We got back Wednesday at 3, and I had to teach at 6 p.m. Then, it was school on Thursday and Friday. I have been totally exhausted from all of the travel and kid managing. Mike took the kids today to Granbury so I could get some more work done on my prospectus, which must be accepted before I can begin my thesis work. Please pray for me right now: it is more stressful than I thought. Max was at my parents, so that means Molly and Jack got to play with their cousin, whom they adore. Last night we decorated jack olanters, and we are hoping they don't get smashed before Halloween. I will post pics later.

Hall Johnson Pumpkin Patch Field Trip

2008-10-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

Jack and Molly's school is across the street from the Hall Johnson Pumpkin Patch. Both of their classes took field trips there this year, and I got to tag along. It was great day to go: the weather was perfect! They both had a blast. I learned that my daugther is wild and loves to play rough and tumble with the roughest of boys! And, Jack likes to take life easy through investigation and observation. He really loves his class; they both do. I like the one of him talking about the cows with his friends Wyatt and Michael. I am not sure what they are saying, something about poop, I think.

An Update, Thanks Sen. McCain

2008-10-11T05:58:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I had to put this update. I appreciate his courage standing up to his crowd of supporters who were off base and scary. Nicely done! This is the Sen. McCain I remember from the primaries 8 years ago.
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/homepage/story/53791.html

Crazy, Hateful Rhetoric

2008-10-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/10/mccain.crowd/index.html?iref=mpstoryview.
I will let this article stand alone, and tell you I find this startling, scary and sad.

Galveston

2008-10-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

About three weeks before Hurricane Ike decimated Galveston and the surrounding country, we were there for a quick visit. We got to go to our favorite state park, which sustained "catastrophic damage" in the storm. That means that in the background pics, the surrounding structures are no more. They have been washed here and there in the great tidal surge that flooded the island. The state park is not protected by the seawall that was built after the last great hurricane in 1912, so the surge moved everything around and in general, destroyed the roadways, the boardwalks and the facilities at the park. I understand in the wake of such destruction, people lost their homes and even their lives, so to be sad about a state park is silly. But this state park had become part of our family lore, and we visited every year except the year that Molly Ann was born. Jack visited there when he was in my tummy, and again when he was 10 months old. I have several pictures of them in the circle part of the structures at the park. For Jack's 4th birthday, he chose to visit Galveston instead of a having a party. We went in March of this year for Spring Break, and again just weeks before the Hurricane. I am thankful they are rebuilding the island, and I pray that those who have lost their homes and family members will be comforted. It is easy with all of the terrible things going on in our economy to just forget the loss the TExas coast has suffered. Personally, I am sad, but hopeful that it will grow back stronger and better.

First Day of School and Meet the Teacher

2008-10-04T15:06:00.000-07:00

Fun Camping Pics!

2008-10-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

My family went camping at Cedar Hill State Park. WE had a blast. Max, Cody and Nicole as well as my parents were able to go! Nana and Papa got a site on the lake. The ligh that day was perfect for pictures!

My Funny, Funny Guy!

2008-10-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight as we sat down to dinner, we asked who wanted to say the prayer. Jack said he would. WE all clasped hands and bowed our heads, only to hear Jack begin, "I pledge allegiance, to the flag, mumble mumble mumble....one nation....under God. Amen." I asked if it was a prayer because he said God. He said, "yeah, we say that prayer every day in class." classic. And tonight, he got out of bed to tell us he needed to pee. We asked if he could take care of it, and he said, "uhh, no guys. Sometimes my brain just goes crazy. I'm true!" Which is his way to say he is being honest and truthful. So hilarious. On the way to school yesterday morning, he said that they were going to sell cookies and cupcakes at school for 2 dollars. I asked what for. He said, well, I think Ms. Bessie needs the money, but don't tell anyone!" hilarous!

Next 25

2008-10-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

1. Finish Prospectus for Thesis.
2. Visit Berlin
3. Visit London
4. Visit South Italy
5. Vacation in Maine in late August
6. Okay, I am done. Just further evidence of my shallowness....how much more focused on me can I be? I am a little ill just thinking about it. Maybe for the next 60 or so, I can think of things that might help others. Yuck. Self critiquing sucks.

The Very Definition of the Word Shallow

2008-09-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

is me. While the markets were crashing yesterday, and a total of 1.2 trillion dollars were lost, I was debating which resort we need to visit at Disney World for our next vacation. I think I have settled on the Animal Kingdom Lodge. I don't really care what Congress does or doesn't do, but please don't interrupt my trip!

Stealing the idea the top 25 from Nicole

2008-09-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

My sister in law had a great idea to list the top 100 things you'd like to do in your lifetime. Here are my top twenty-five, not in order of importance:

1. Finish MA....almost there
2. Return to teach High School English
3. Own a pair of Manolo Blahniks
4. Vacation frequently in Europe with my family
5. Publish a book or a poem in a nationally recognized literary mag.
6. laugh so hard I spit out my wine in Spain
7. Own an old home in Fort Worth Tx close to the museum district
8. Go on at least one overseas mission trip
9. Visit Africa on mission trip
10. Critique Patriarchy, including why on earth I want a pair of Manolo's....
11. Publish an article that makes people seriously consider inner hipocracy
12. Scream at the top of my lungs about how society has perverted Christ's mission
13. Ski in the alps
14. Teach molly and jack to ski
15. Raise one independently minded daughter to be whatever she wants
16. Raise one independently minded son to be loving and be whatever he wants
17. Teach children to adore Christ for the radical he is
18. Make my children laugh and find the humor and love in Bible Stories, esp. OT
19. Fall in love again with Mike at the Eiffel Tower
20. Dress elegantly...give up sloppiness forever
21. be thoughtful in all my words and spoken opinions
22. open up heart daily for cleaning from heaven
23. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE mundane moments in the day with my children
24. Take a train to Vienna
25. Go to Octoberfest and Celebrate what a wonderful life we have

Laser Cats: So Funny

2008-09-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE this skit!. This skin on SNL that makes me laugh out loud. My roomie from college, Lisa, loves Raising Arizona, the movie. I am thinking that Laser Cats in my Raising Arizona. Warning: watch at your own discretion, only if you have a strange (I would say highly developed)sense of humor.
Here is the link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/snl-digital-short-laser-cats-3/237292/. And, while you are at it, catch Tina Fey being Sarah Palin. That is hilarious, too. But, it doesn't make me laugh nearly as much as Laser Cats! I think it is great they got Sen. Dodd to be in it.

Meet My Children

2008-09-05T05:59:00.001-07:00

For Jack and Molly's new school, we had to fill out a "let me introduce my children sheet". Jack and Molly's responses were so sweet.

Jack's favorite things:
Book: The Bible
TV Show: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (thanks Denise!)
Color: Green
Food: Broccoli
Games: Wii (we don't have one, he just wants one!)
Animals: Birds
Special fears: darkness and heights
Interests: Cars, spiders and venemous snakes
How do you feel about going to school? A little nervous.

Molly's favorite things:
Book: The Cat In The Hat
TV Show: Barney
Color: Pink
Food: Spaghetti
Games: Duck Duck Goose
Animals: Baby Giraffes
Fears: Lions
Interests: Writing, painting, crafting and swimming
How do you feel about going to school? I am not afraid!

I feel each one is a little window into their sweet states of mind, which, as I have learned, change swiftly. Parent's Night was last night, today is Meet the Teacher and they start school on Tuesday. Molly's teachers are Ms. Heidi and Ms. Sherry, and Jack has Ms. Bessie (his third grade teacher) and Ms. Christa. Their rooms were so well organized. We are so excited. I just want to say a prayer to our Lord to thank him for this time, and to pray for all the preschool teachers who are beginning a new school year!

Baby Jack Is FIVE!

2008-08-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Last night, both Mike and I agreed that we were only slightly less tired than the first night we spent with Jackson Patrick in Arlington, TX. Our waterheater broke and flooded part of our house, so we were dealing with water issues. I find an excellent metaphor for these five years in the flooding of our computer room, because time has gushed past me, leaving me slack jawed and in awe that five years have rushed around us so quickly. I am constantly so caught up in the moments of mothering, working and studying that the cumulative effect of these moments, although undeniable, is still hard to conceive. This time five years ago, I was completely off balance, scared to death, shocked at the pain, and dealing with the fact that my dad had almost died in the hospital on the same day my son was born. Our one and only visitor that first night was my brother, Cody, who drove all the way from Dallas in traffic to officially welcome my son to the family. My dad had an intestinal blockage, and to be honest, I thought he might die. He was very ill, but ultimately recovered. I love the picture when I first met Jack, and I apologize to those of you who may have weak stomachs. I am obviously joyful, as is my labor and delivery nurse. I have dwelled in this joyful, sometimes flustered and flumoxed state for these last five years. I am so grateful for this experience. It is truly unique and wonderful. I was in a constant state of prayer before Jack was born, I was worried I might die in childbirth, or that I would loose Jack during the process, but truthfully it was smooth and relatively stress free. I like the bottom pictures of Jack because his grin reminds me of his cousin, Max's grin. These pictures represent where Max is now now, and both boys have the most impish grins, like they really "get" life, and they love it! Tonight, we will celebrate his birthday with friends from school, and I am so excited to wish him another happy, healthy five years. I would be extremely remiss if I did not acknowledge that through this flood of time, God has guided us safely with no major losses or sorrows. I am thankful beyond words for this.

Fossil Rim

2008-08-20T05:23:00.000-07:00

Ava, Jack, Ian and Cathie. As I type this, Molly Ann just asked, "Aren't we cute". No self esteem issues around the McCormack Haus.

Molly and Ian look out over an African Serengetti? Nope, they look out over the beautiful Texas Prarie.

Ava and Jack watch deer graze.

Ian is petting some kind of friendly/hungry antelope.

What have we done this summer?

2008-08-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

We've gone to the Fort Worth Zoo, and watched orangutans.

Molly Ann has practiced dancing and gymnastics. No official lessons, just good ole fun!

We've gone to Fossil Rim! (This was their only pic together...butt, I kinda think its funny!) We went with Aunt Cathie, Ava and Ian. It was crazy, hot and also lots of fun. The Zebra's and ostrich's were very agressive, and Nana actually got bit by a hungry zebra.

I

Not So Still Life: Apples and Oranges

2008-08-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

We spent the night with Nana and Papa, and thought we'd try life imitating art! Our canvases kept giggling and squirming, and it was quite fun! I have been able to begin reading for my thesis: it feels I've got so far to go! This art with Nana was a much needed distraction, and my squirmy children were delicious.

Hypothetically Speaking, If You Ever Loose A Bottle of Chocolate Syrup

2008-08-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is a short note to myself, sent to yesterday. Hypothetically speaking, of course, because surely this would never happen to anyone, right? Everyone knows I am a bit flighty, and I don't concern myself too much with material reality, especially as it relates to kitcheny/cleaning things. Hypothetically, if you are ever keeping another child in your house, and he requests chocolate milk twice, the second time, if you can't find the chocolate syrup, go ahead and look around for it. If it is not in the fridge, and not in the cabinet, and not on the countertops, go ahead and take some time to look around to see where it could have possibly gone. Note to self: it did not disappear, a chocolate syrup elf did not come and consume it all, and your three year old daugther did not perform a David Blaine worthy disappearing act. It probably fell between the fridge and the countertop, and it is slowly leaking all over your kitchen floor, so that when you return from Ikea exhausted, it has likely coated a large portion of your kitchen. You may have to slip and slide with your not quite five year old as you clean it up. Soap and water works nicely. But, if you'd like to save some time, when you loose the syrup bottle go ahead and try to find it. It will be well worth your time.

25 Again

2008-07-31T19:10:00.001-07:00

Yes, I am 25 again, for the ninth year in a row. It is fabulous being 25: I love it. I vow to never leave this age. And, my sister in law, Nicole, cemented my age when her card congratulated me on my 25th birthday. Yes, Nicole, like myself, is very wise and we've decided to live forevermore in our mid twenties. I have no desire to grow old gracefully, or to embrace fully what it means to grow wiser and understand what it means to be a woman. Everything I needed to know I knew by 25: (how to do laundry and why you shouldn't, the value of a good cleaning lady for the organizationally challenged, why you should adore your parents, and why on earth you would marry young when you found your soul mate, how fabulous children are, how neat it is to watch your brother become a father, how to pack for several moves, how to change careers whenever the need arises, and most importantly, what I've know since I was literally 3, the value of your relationship with the one true God.)
We celebrated this monumental birthday at Uncle Julios, and Myles and Lisa, Cody and Nicole and Max, and my mom and dad came. Thanks for sharing the great birthday with me. As soon as Molly Ann saw Max, she was all over him like white on rice, or tan on brown rice if you are a health food nut. And, when she saw Lisa she grinned from ear to ear. Myles and Jack played karate chop Power Ranger fever, and Mike got me the best present ever: a beautiful yummy cake to share with my family. IT has been a great day, and I am truly blessed to celebrate 34 surrounded by a fabulous family.

A Weekend In The Shack

2008-07-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

My parents had the kiddos this weekend while we escaped to the Westlake Mariott. It was a very nice hotel, and we paid for the trip with Mike's miles. (in other words, it was FREE!) I've had a few people recommend The Shack by William P. Young, so I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. I was worried about buying and reading it, because the premise of the book is very dark, and the book deals with the tough questions faced by those of real faith. For instance, why do bad things happen to the helpless, and where is God when these things occur. Although the plot revolves around this, truthfully the book is more like taking a strenuous hike up a mountain, only to encounter a dilapadated old Shack that is built of your own fears, hang ups and worries. This is the fertile ground--made of doubt and worry--where God choses to meet the main character, and to be honest, all of us if we are awake enough to notice. Without giving too much away, I literally felt like I was in the presence of God while reading this book, and this book gave me a lot of insight to difficult biblical problems, like the nature of the relationship between Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. It also assauged my fears because frequently, I feel like I have nothing in common with today's evangelical movement that screams morality and shoves the ten commandments down society's throat. I have wondered over the last eight years if I even am a Chrstian in the traditional sense of the word. Not that I don't believe, I believe so much in Jesus and God that it actually hurts sometimes. I yearn for his presence, but sometimes he feels so far from me. I learned from this book that my emotions have nothing to do with the presence of our King, that Jesus is like a big brother who adores us, and that the Holy Spirit is constantly at work in my soul. I learned that God is especially fond of...everyone. That annoying person down the street...God adores her. The rude lady who cut you off in traffic...she is one of his favorites. And, the rude person next to you in the restaraunt is God's Child. He loves us all. He has no expectations for us, he is not disappointed in us when we fail to produce the fruits of the spirit, and no one is righteous among us, NOT ONE of us! I learned forgiveness is a powerful weapon in the fight against sadness, and once forgiveness begins to occur, in the face of the rage and sorrow of the past, hope and love can grow. This book was amazing. I feel closer to God, now, and I am certain that the heaven of my dreams will be a reality someday. If you have time, and the emotional energy to dwell in His presence, read this book. I am warning, though, while I was laying out at the pool, there were several times I cried into a towel while people tried not to stare. Ironically, I was approached by two other people who were reading the book and described it as life changing. The climb to the shack is exhausting, and facing the house your fears and anger built isn't easy, but it is well worth the trip!

Tori and Dean in Hollywood and Good Spouses

2008-07-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Last night nothing was good on TV when the kids were in bed, so we watched the end of a Tori and Dean show. Have you seen it? Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are moving back to Hollywood and raising a family of two children who are really close together birth wise, (He has a son from a previous marriage who doesn't live near LA.). Anyway, in the midst of all the moving mayhem, she realizes that her son, Liam, isn't on a waiting list for a prestigious preschool in Hollywood. She finds out that for many of the best schools, he is already out because he is one year old and not on a waiting list. In short, many of the good schools are already taken. This show made me laugh because they freak out over the decorating the house, his preschool, every little thing. While I was going to sleep, for other reasons, I was thinking about Mike, and what a good husband/father he is. I was thinking of how I know my dad, as well as me, prayed for the person I would marry for a long, long time. I prayed frequently with long lists for my true love. I really believe that Mike is an answer to these prayers, actual proof in the flesh that God listens to and answers prayers. Then, I realized that I hadn't been praying for Jack and Molly's spouses. I started laughing because I thought, like Tori spelling, what if all the great spouses have already been requested in granted, like a giant heavenly dating service, because so many Christians who were more with it than me have years ahead of Jack and Molly in their parent's prayers. What if all the great ones have already been passed out, and because I waited until Jack was five and Molly was three, God is down to just the "good" list. Sorry kiddos. You might wind up with a spouse with a strange tick or habit that is really annoying because your ole Mom was dozing off the first few years of your life. Like Tori Spelling, I waited to long to get you guys in good with a good Christian family. I began praying last night for Jack and Molly to get them at least wait-listed in the heavenly dating game. I am wondering if anyone who reads these blogs prays for their kids or grandkids spouses?

Molly Ann's Third Birthday

2008-07-22T15:22:00.000-07:00

We had Molly's birthday part in June 15th, but the pics at Chuck E Cheese turned out terrible, so here is some post party celebration. I love the one with Nana, Molly and I, and the one of Molly loving on Nana! The one of Jack is of Jack opening his gift. We get him a present every year on Molly's birthday. It was so wonderful to celebrate her birthday!

Max's Birthday Party

2008-07-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

I am playing blogger catch up going from now, back to Molly's birthday in June. We celebrated Max's first birthday at White Rock Lake! Happy Birthday, MAX

Happy Birthday Nana!

2008-07-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

Today, if I am correct, and I could be wrong, Nana is something along the lines of 39! It is amazing so many grandkids at such a young age....I kid. I would never out her real age on a blog. Seriously, though, one of the most tangible blessings in my life is watching my mom with my kids. She is amazing with Jack and Molly Ann. Truthfully, she is amazing with all kids, from newborn to teenagers. In high school, my home was always full of kiddos, and my mom would feed them, take care of them, listen to their thoughts, worries and hopes, and take them entirely seriously. She did the same for me, which, if you've ever been a teenager, is an amazingly comforting thing. Later, she adopted my friends from ACU, as well as my then boyfriend, now husband. She lavished love on all of us. Unconditionally. She still listens to me, and takes me seriously, and carries all of my burdens with her. She plays the perfect games with Jack and Molly, and her back yard is a veritable shrine to her grandkids, with a play place, a space ship, a pirate ship and a garden that everyone is free to roam in. She cannot tell me enough funny stories about Max, whom she adores! She is still welcoming and kind, and even though she would dispute this, she is a great example of what God expects in hospitality. She helps out in actually physical ways, watching my kids so I can take a break, take a class or teach a class. She is always buying things for everyone, just because she wants to show us how much she loves us. She calls Jackson my sweet boy, and tells me how special Molly Ann is. She is reassuring of my choices, even if she might have doubts. The thing that really amazes me is how she created her identity as a mom. She had no real role model to go on: her own mom gave her up when she was two, and her step mom fit the bill as a step mom straight out of Cinderella or Hansel and Gretel. She always told me the most important ingredient to be a good mom was LOVE. LOVE your kids, and everything else, all mistakes, all misunderstandings, everything else washes away in the face of that love. This is biblical: These remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. I've spent many days wondering about true love, and it has only since dawned on me how God has blessed me with a great true love in my mother. She loves me completely, and my family, Mike, Molly and Jack all become wrapped up in an amazing web of love. Her love is heavenly, directly inspired by her love of God and God's love for her. Happy Birthday Nana! I love you!

Home, A Little Groggy, after a 300 dollar picture

2008-07-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a flash! We celebrated Max's birthday at White Rock Lake...Happy Birthday, little guy! I got dubbed with a new nickname, too...Aunt Jojo. I like it. Then, it was home for a rest, off to the nursery at our church, and then to bed to get ready for a quick drive to Amarillo to see my granny, who is in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimers. She actually wasn't expected to live through a chest cold in May, she even confided in her son that the angels were at her bedside. They must have brought with them God's healing, because she suffered a miraculous healing, and is healthy except for her mind in a nursing facility in Amarillo. She has three sons, Don and Joe live there, and my dad, her youngest, who lives in Granbury. She knew him for the first time in four years, but was wary of me and the kids. Last May, when the doctors had given her five days at the most to live, I was sad because I didn't have a picture of her with my kids. I LOVED granny when I was little. I spent many nights next to her and her soft skin on her pull out sofa watching videos with her. She took my cousin Cathie and I when no one would allow us together. (We were wild, wild wild...another post another time). She had a beauty shop out behind her house where she fixed hair, old school style. Anyway, I was sad. so I rode with my parents pulling a camper (they are headed out to Pecos for some camping and fly fishing) to Amarillo on Sunday. 8 hours later, we are there, headed to the nursing home where of course she didn't know me. I got one picture of her with Jack and Molly, which I will post because it is so funny. In the picture, she is looking at Molly about to push her hand off her Granny arms, where Molly was touching her. She told Molly not to touch her again! And, Jack is being pushed by Uncle Joe to look like he isn't scared of his mind of this old, old lady in a wheel chair. It was kind of dark humor, which I think gets you through the sad times like that. I think God offers us these moments to laugh instead of cry, instead of bogging down in saddness, to grasp onto the sometimes insanity of it all. Another bitter sweet part was watching her sons prompt her and work with her, to retrieve the little bits of memory that are tangled insider her mind. They ask basic questions over and over, and some part of granny's mind still holds onto her past enough to answer the rote questions. I am not sure she is entirely in the same world we are in, but I am also uncertain where she is. Perhaps she is in an inbetween state, not quite with us in the present, not quite sure of the past, but existing in a world where she can remember her favorite dessert is ice cream, and that she is tired enough to want to sleep every moment of the day away. I am thankful for the opportunity to see her, to touch her paper thin skin again, and to pay homage to a great woman that I've loved. I'll put up the pic when Mike gets home today. This morning, we were up at 5 a.m. to catch the early flight out of the Amarillo Regional Airport on Southwest Airlines. This was an opportunity for more dark humor. Our car was searched on the way in, and Jack's asthma machine trigged a bomb alert and a quick scolding for me from the screeners. Then, the flight was quick and Mike met us at Love Field. All in all, 300 dollars for the tickets to get a picture that I will treasure for ever, because I love granny and I was glad to see her with my kids, whom I also love greatly. I wanted to have a photo of the lineage she is partially responsible for, because she is my father's mother, she and her mother Estelle, and Estelle's mother, whom I met at her 105th birthday when I was a child. I am thankful that God has blessed me with family, even if capturing it in a photo is a little bittersweet. I am a little groggy this morning, but now it is outside so Molly Ann can play and release some pent up energy from the busy, busy weekend.

Father's Day Two Days Late

2008-06-17T11:19:00.001-07:00

I'll file this one under better late than never. Mike refused to celebrate his own father's day because it was Molly Ann's birthday. He kept telling me, this is Molly's day. It was so sweet! I was gonna post yesterday, but we wound up in the ER again with Molly: she was throwing up so much and couldn't keep anything downf or like 24 hours, so our doctor instructed us to go to the ER. They gave her a pill and she is fine now. Mike was up with her all night Monday, because I have no patience at night. I guess that is really an example of the kind of person he is, and this of course translates into the kind of father he is. He is selfless, which is such an attractive quality to me, at the same time it is so hard because it isn't a quality I possess. There are many examples of how Mike is a good father, thus a good husband. I really am proud of him, and thankful for him. I could go on and on forever, but I think it suffices to say that he is an excellent Christ-like example for me and our children: thanks, babe. I love you.
On the same note, I am also still blessed with my own father's example. He loves his children, grandchildren and our spouses. He is willing to help on an extended basis however he is needed. I love you so much, dad! Today, I am very thankful that I have two excellent father's who translate very clearly God's love for us!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Molly Ann

2008-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

It is just so hard to believe that three years have slipped by since Molly Ann was born. Thank you, Lord, for a safe delivery and a healthy, happy, exasperating girl. I love you, Molly!

Post Trip Disney Thoughts

2008-06-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

We bought the copyrights to the pictures, so here are some that the disney photographers took. I really had few expectations for the trip; I had no idea I would fall so much in love with the place. I would love to go every year: it was so easy and so much fun! I do have a few critiques of the place, mostly from an American cultural point of view...but humoursly, by the end of the trip, I just didn't care anymore! All I could think about was how much the kids loved it there. It made their childhood so tangible for just a moment: i know now as Molly is approaching three this weekend, and Jack is on the verge of five, it is pretty fleeting and difficult to touch. So, I really did love disney. Can't think of anything bad to say about the trip and I highly recommend you go if you can!

The Last Day!

2008-06-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

Our flight left on Sat. at three, so we had some time to run back into the Magic Kingdom for souvineers. I love the pic of Jack trying not to get choked by Max's infant mickey ears!

Goodbye, Disney!
We were oh so sad to leave! It was an awesome vacation, and such a blessing to spend a week together all healthy at Disney. WE are actually planning on returning. I hope we get to go again!

Last Dinner in the Polynesian

2008-06-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

The last night we were there, we booked dinner at Ohana, a Hawaiian restarant in teh hotel. Molly danced until we could eat, and even took a bow. The Polynesian was an amazing hotel. Here was our view the last night we were there for dinner. Ohana was AWESOME! They entertain the kids while you eat. Too bad Molly would have none of it. But Jack loved it.

Finishing up Disney

2008-06-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

Gram and Jack are riding The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. The next day (Friday, our last full day) we took a bus to MGM and rode star tours once more and were awarded a dream fast pass, which means you can ride all the rides without standing in line. We didn't use it, though, we were too tired and the kids were, too. I gave my two fast passes to a nice old couple. AS I said, we dubbed Molly Ann Stitch, and we got to watch the Indianna Jones stunt show, which Jack loved!

Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom

2008-06-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

Since we were up so late the night before, we completely blew off the next morning, just rested and played at the pool I think Molly slept until like 11 the next day. We did the Killamanjaro Safari's and Bug's Life...Then, headed to the Magic Kingdom for some fun in Toon Town.

Captain Jack and Captain Jack

2008-06-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

On the way home, we were all worn out, but very happy.

Pirate and Princess Party Cont.

2008-06-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

Ariel...I forgot Ariel. The characters are so polite. Molly Ann told everyone but Cinderella that she had slippers like Cinderella, and did they notice her gown was like Cinderella, too? They each spent time talking to her. Then, it was Jack's turn for the pirate part of the party. We saw a pirate tutorial, for which Jack was not chosen. His heart was broken he wanted to meet Capt. Jack Sparrow so badly. I asked and found out that Capt. Jack was doing a meet and greet, so at 10:30 p.m., Jack and I began waiting in line in a very stuffy, muggy building to meet Capt. Jack. We waited in line until 11:15 for our turn, and I was not disappointed, neither was Jackson. Capt. Jack answered all of Jack's questions, and was so kind to him. Jack was enthralled, and I was so pleased with the characters that night. Seriously, I know it is their job, but they were so realistic and nice. It really was the highlight of our trip. It was a magical night, but it capped three very busy days for us. So, we tried to take it easy on Thursday.

Pirate and Princess Party

2008-06-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

We bought tickets to go the Pirate and Princess Party; Disney opens up the park for the lucky ticket holders, and princesses and pirates abound! It was so much fun. Molly got to meet six princesses, plus an impromptu meeting with Wendy and Peter Pan. The characters hardly ever talk to anyone while they are walking around, but we ran into them as they were exiting the castle by a secret trap door, as we were leaving the restroom. They stayed in character, and Wendy said "Look Peter, It's a girl". Peter said "Yes, Wendy, it IS a girl." Wendy asked Molly, "What is your name, little girl?" Molly replied: "My name is Cinderella". Both Peter and Wendy laughed, and said of course, and I graciously excused them acknowledging they were in high demand! While there was a pirate and princess parade, I snuck off with Molly to Toon Town to wait to meet some princesses. The lines were short because most of the park was watching the parade, so we met: Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Daisy Duck, and Minnie Mouse...and perhaps one more that I am forgetting.

More Epcot

2008-06-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

Mike booked a hibachi/sushi place in the Japan portion of Epcot. Jack and Molly LOVED it! We then went on a mini-tour of Germany's Romantic Road (Mike and I have visited there...) And rode Maelstrom in Norway. I bought a christmas ornament in Germany and we met Donald Duck in Mexico. We stayed way longer than we had planned, because it took a long time to walk it all, and it was really fun and interesting to jump from country to country within ten minutes. Of course, this was Jack and Molly's least favorite: but I loved it. After a long morning at Epcot, we took naps and had the pirate and princess party at The Magic Kingdom, which I will post about later.

Epcot: Day Three

2008-06-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

After the Magic Kingdom, Epcot was my favorite! It was so cool, so spacious, so hot! We rode the Nemo ride, this is Jack and Molly in front of a fountain in the British part of the park. Mike and Molly are making Stitch faces. WE dubbed Molly Ann Stitch: they have much in common!

Cinderella's Round Table Dinner

2008-06-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of the castle where we ate dinner. As you can see, Molly Ann was so happy, but actually Jack enjoyed it too. He got a sword and the waiters referred to him as Prince and Molly as Princess. We met Cinderella, her mice attendants, and the Fairy God Mother, and had a pretty good meal, too. IT was a highlight of the trip! Tomorrow: Epcot and the Pirate and Princess Party

Day Three: Magic Kingdom

2008-06-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, we spent the entire day at The Magic Kigndom. We rode rides that we wanted to, explored tomorrow land and frontier land. Buzz Light Year Space Ranger Spin was our favorite. It is like riding through a video game. You have to shoot the z's for Buzz's enemy, Zurg, and then, at the end of the game, it tally's up your hits. We rode it three times ina row because it wasn't crowded! Tuesday night, we had dinner in Cinderella's castle in the Magic kingdom. This was an amazing night! We got to dinner about four. Molly Ann was sad because she had a princess gown, but no slippers. She even through a fit! Alas, I didn't bring her slippers. But her prince (what she calls Mike) intervened and got to the nearest shop to purchase some here size. I have never seen her throw off sandals with such glee and put the shoes on so quickly.

Animal Kingdom

2008-06-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

We went to the Animal Kingdom that night for the Magic Kingdom Extra Hours. We had dinner...bbq, and headed off to see It's Tough to be a bug and Triceratop Spin. It's Tough to be a bug is about A Bug's Life, and it is highly interactive, from being sprayed by a stinky bug to getting stung by wasps and sprayed by termites. OF course, the kids loved it. They were pretty tired, so we headed back to the hotel rather early. Animal Kingdom was cool, but I kinda felt like I had done it before because of the zoo. We didn't do the safari the first night because we were all wiped out! So, on the first full day we visited two parks and really were going the whole day. IT was awesome. WE also saw the festival of the lion king, which was entertaining and exciting. Jack copied the acrobats with his Donald Duck, who he carried with him everywhere. It was a cool place. The Animal Kingdom also hosts a resort that is medium priced and supposed to be fab.

MGM

2008-06-06T05:09:00.000-07:00

What could bring such a smile to Jack's face? Woody and Buzz! We also saw IT's a wonderful life store and Jack got to create his own light saber. MGM was great for Jack, who is a movie buff already at the age of 4, but for Molly, it was a smidge boring. She did get to enjoy playhouse disney show and meeting the Wizard Mickey Mouse. AFter this we went home and napped, and I had plans for us for the evening. Next: Animal Kingdom!

More MGM

2008-06-06T05:05:00.000-07:00

We ate lunch at Pizza Planet, the arcade in Toy Story Two. Aain. Jack was really excited! Then, we went to an extra large sized playground where the kids played. And we met Mickie!

Day Two: Universal Studios/ MGM

2008-06-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

The next morning, we got up really early and took advantage of the Disney Magic Hours, where they let on site guests go into the parks early and stay late exclusively. We were there when it opened, and it wasn't crowded really at all. I planned out each day some specific rides I knew the kids would be interested in. We practically ran to Star Tours. Jack was enthralled. Molly was a little too small. The ride simulates space travel. IT was really cool. Jack rode it three times the first day! IT was so empty, he could just go back to back! The Mickey Mouse Molly Ann has cost 65 bucks, but it would tell you where you were in the park and play games with you. It was supposed to be a must have. REally, Mike and I call it kind of wasted money. But she loved him at the park,now he is buried somewhere in her closet. Alas....

Waiting in Long Lines

2008-06-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

After we took a dip in the pool, we dressed and took the monorail to the Magic Kingdom to wait 45 minutes to ride Peter Pan (amazing!), Winnie the Pooh, and It's a Small World. The waits for Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan were really long, and the kids were tired, but we did it and traveled back to our posh hotel to crash until the next morning. Tomorrow, I will blog about Day Two.

The kids were really tired, but still amazed to see The Magic Kingdom in all its glory. Although I was tired, I was totally energized and pumped. There really is something amazing about Disney World. Even though you are tired, hot and sweaty, it still ROCKS!

Disney World Part 1: Travelling

2008-06-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

This is a short blog to record our Disney World adventure May 18-24. Mike's parents helped us go (by help, please read helped us hugely financially as in paid for most of the trip). We got up on Sunday morning at 3 a.m., left our house at 3:45 a.m. to catch a 6 a.m. flight to Orlando. The kids were good during the flight. We took another hour bus to arrive at the Polynesia, a Hawaiian inspired resort with a beach view of Cinderella's castle!

The Day Ended As It Began: Waiting to see a Doctor!

2008-05-28T15:47:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was horrible! In the am, I had a visit with my doc. to check my cholesterol, which means a venipuncture. I waited 35 minutes after fasting twelve hours to get it checked. Jack freaked out and cried, but Molly Ann loved it. She is unafraid of doctors, which proved to be a good thing. After my doctor visit, we went to the pirate ship park in keller since we were right there. I went for a three mile walk, then we stopped to play on a playground. Molly fell off the monkey bars when I looked away for just one moment. She fell about five feet onto the soft mulch below. She immediately complained that her shoulder hurt her. After a nap and a few more complaints, we drove to Baylor Grapevine to the ER. The XRay revealed a broken arm. We were blessed today to see an orthopedists, who told us we can do nothing and must wait three weeks to ensure it is healing properly. I feel that once again, God was watching over us and I am thankful nothing worse happened. My parents were with me much of the day today as I drove to get an xray copy, and then to Arlington for the soonest appointment necessary. Today, though, I am wiped out. Luckily Mike was up with her during the night. we are privy to some good pain meds that I will give her tonight to help her sleep. What a day!