What I Meant Wednesday

To My Trainer Yesterday:
What I said: I want to do abs today.
What I meant: I've been working out really hard. I definitely don't want to do legs, because I seriously think I am going to die when we do that. Let's take it easy today, K?
She didn't get the message.

To Molly Yesterday:
What I said: You can get your own drink, honey.
What I meant: Seriously, Mollers. I am NOT your waitress. Even IF I was your waitress, I would have left this table a few years ago, because you are the worst tipper on the planet!

To Jack Yesterday
What I said: Turn off the Wii.
What I meant: Right now, my sweet son, I am having visions of throwing that stupid Wii out the freakin' window. If you don't turn it off, I will use my Super Brawl power to destroy it!

To Carroll ISD spokesperson at the job fair:
What I said: Where should I put down my level of experience, including teaching in college?
What I meant: You just pulled me up in a group of people who DON'T EVEN POSSESS A BACHELOR'S DEGREE yet. I am a real contender for any English position you might have.
What she said: I don't care if you have a Ph.D. All we want to know is if you are certified....:(