Funny Jack Stories

I am sure these stories will embarass him later, but he has been too funny lately. I'll admit, during each of these episodes, I was just a smidge embarassed for sweet Jack, but after confiding in my friend Jill, and my mom, they encouraged me to share the stories because they were hilarious.
Here goes:
In October of this year, I went to pick up Jack at school when his teacher flagged me down and asked for a chat. YIKES! I always try to get in and out as quickly as possible. She said that while she was putting on Jack's shoes, (he still hates to do this himself, although he is able, I swear) he began spitting bubbles out his mouth all the way down his shirt. She tells me his shirt was actually wet: Yuck. Anyway, she asked him why he was doing this. He replied that his brain was going crazy, and this caused him to spit. (At this moment she paused, looking at me with a pained, confused, and worried look on her face. I know she wondered if it was epilepsy, or another serious medical condition.) I told her I would talk to Jack and determine if a visit to the doctor to rule anything out was in line. When we got in the car, I said, Jack did your brain go crazy at school. He said, yeah, my brain when crazy thinking about robots and stuff, and then it made extra brain juice which I had to spit out. After he retold this story several times, I explained that teachers don't like to clean up brain juice, and he just needs to go to the bathroom to spit if he finds himself in such a predicament. Problem solved: no more brain juice incidents at school.
Second story:
I get a call from Ms. Bessie, his teacher, at 11 a.m. because she is worried about Jack. He has been scratching his head with his fingers so many times, and now he is on the carpet scratching his head on the carpet. She has checked him for lice, but is worried his allergies/asthma is causing problems. I rush to school to find that he is fine. WE get in the car, and I ask him what on earth happened. He tells me the fire ants jumped from Wyatt's head to his head, and they are trying to get into his brain. He has to get rid of them. You know, like Matty when she has fleas he says. No more itching the whole rest of the day nor the weekend. I told him not to scratch off the fire ants any more.
Third story:
I took a day with just Jack and left Molly at school. When we get in the car, I tell him how pleased I am that it is just us. I tell him I can't believe how much he has grown up. He explains that he doesn't want to grow up at all, because....he doesn't want me to get old and wrinkley. He thinks I am pretty like this, and as he gets older, he is sure I'll get wrinkles and get ugly. Uhhh. I assure him I will get wrinkley and old, but I will still be the same mommy who loves him. I don't think it helped.
Fourth Story
I told him the names of the candidates for the election. I did not discuss who we were voting for, as I didn't think it was important. I asked him who he would vote for, and he said John McCain. I asked him why, and he said that Barack Obama's name was weird and that he wouldn't vote for him. (Mike and I supported him throughout the primaries, and really liked Obama). It made us laugh so much to think about how that is exactly what the strategy against Obama was, that he was weird, scary, and an unknown. His name, especially his middle name, wasn't like our names. Note to the GOP, if my five year old develops a similar campaign strategy as you, you probably need to hit the think tank again and work on a new strategy.
He has been sooo funny lately, and I just wanted to save these memories so that if my brain makes extra juice, they won't be swept away!