25 Again

Yes, I am 25 again, for the ninth year in a row. It is fabulous being 25: I love it. I vow to never leave this age. And, my sister in law, Nicole, cemented my age when her card congratulated me on my 25th birthday. Yes, Nicole, like myself, is very wise and we've decided to live forevermore in our mid twenties. I have no desire to grow old gracefully, or to embrace fully what it means to grow wiser and understand what it means to be a woman. Everything I needed to know I knew by 25: (how to do laundry and why you shouldn't, the value of a good cleaning lady for the organizationally challenged, why you should adore your parents, and why on earth you would marry young when you found your soul mate, how fabulous children are, how neat it is to watch your brother become a father, how to pack for several moves, how to change careers whenever the need arises, and most importantly, what I've know since I was literally 3, the value of your relationship with the one true God.)
We celebrated this monumental birthday at Uncle Julios, and Myles and Lisa, Cody and Nicole and Max, and my mom and dad came. Thanks for sharing the great birthday with me. As soon as Molly Ann saw Max, she was all over him like white on rice, or tan on brown rice if you are a health food nut. And, when she saw Lisa she grinned from ear to ear. Myles and Jack played karate chop Power Ranger fever, and Mike got me the best present ever: a beautiful yummy cake to share with my family. IT has been a great day, and I am truly blessed to celebrate 34 surrounded by a fabulous family.

A Weekend In The Shack

My parents had the kiddos this weekend while we escaped to the Westlake Mariott. It was a very nice hotel, and we paid for the trip with Mike's miles. (in other words, it was FREE!) I've had a few people recommend The Shack by William P. Young, so I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. I was worried about buying and reading it, because the premise of the book is very dark, and the book deals with the tough questions faced by those of real faith. For instance, why do bad things happen to the helpless, and where is God when these things occur. Although the plot revolves around this, truthfully the book is more like taking a strenuous hike up a mountain, only to encounter a dilapadated old Shack that is built of your own fears, hang ups and worries. This is the fertile ground--made of doubt and worry--where God choses to meet the main character, and to be honest, all of us if we are awake enough to notice. Without giving too much away, I literally felt like I was in the presence of God while reading this book, and this book gave me a lot of insight to difficult biblical problems, like the nature of the relationship between Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. It also assauged my fears because frequently, I feel like I have nothing in common with today's evangelical movement that screams morality and shoves the ten commandments down society's throat. I have wondered over the last eight years if I even am a Chrstian in the traditional sense of the word. Not that I don't believe, I believe so much in Jesus and God that it actually hurts sometimes. I yearn for his presence, but sometimes he feels so far from me. I learned from this book that my emotions have nothing to do with the presence of our King, that Jesus is like a big brother who adores us, and that the Holy Spirit is constantly at work in my soul. I learned that God is especially fond of...everyone. That annoying person down the street...God adores her. The rude lady who cut you off in traffic...she is one of his favorites. And, the rude person next to you in the restaraunt is God's Child. He loves us all. He has no expectations for us, he is not disappointed in us when we fail to produce the fruits of the spirit, and no one is righteous among us, NOT ONE of us! I learned forgiveness is a powerful weapon in the fight against sadness, and once forgiveness begins to occur, in the face of the rage and sorrow of the past, hope and love can grow. This book was amazing. I feel closer to God, now, and I am certain that the heaven of my dreams will be a reality someday. If you have time, and the emotional energy to dwell in His presence, read this book. I am warning, though, while I was laying out at the pool, there were several times I cried into a towel while people tried not to stare. Ironically, I was approached by two other people who were reading the book and described it as life changing. The climb to the shack is exhausting, and facing the house your fears and anger built isn't easy, but it is well worth the trip!

Tori and Dean in Hollywood and Good Spouses

Last night nothing was good on TV when the kids were in bed, so we watched the end of a Tori and Dean show. Have you seen it? Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are moving back to Hollywood and raising a family of two children who are really close together birth wise, (He has a son from a previous marriage who doesn't live near LA.). Anyway, in the midst of all the moving mayhem, she realizes that her son, Liam, isn't on a waiting list for a prestigious preschool in Hollywood. She finds out that for many of the best schools, he is already out because he is one year old and not on a waiting list. In short, many of the good schools are already taken. This show made me laugh because they freak out over the decorating the house, his preschool, every little thing. While I was going to sleep, for other reasons, I was thinking about Mike, and what a good husband/father he is. I was thinking of how I know my dad, as well as me, prayed for the person I would marry for a long, long time. I prayed frequently with long lists for my true love. I really believe that Mike is an answer to these prayers, actual proof in the flesh that God listens to and answers prayers. Then, I realized that I hadn't been praying for Jack and Molly's spouses. I started laughing because I thought, like Tori spelling, what if all the great spouses have already been requested in granted, like a giant heavenly dating service, because so many Christians who were more with it than me have years ahead of Jack and Molly in their parent's prayers. What if all the great ones have already been passed out, and because I waited until Jack was five and Molly was three, God is down to just the "good" list. Sorry kiddos. You might wind up with a spouse with a strange tick or habit that is really annoying because your ole Mom was dozing off the first few years of your life. Like Tori Spelling, I waited to long to get you guys in good with a good Christian family. I began praying last night for Jack and Molly to get them at least wait-listed in the heavenly dating game. I am wondering if anyone who reads these blogs prays for their kids or grandkids spouses?

Molly Ann's Third Birthday

We had Molly's birthday part in June 15th, but the pics at Chuck E Cheese turned out terrible, so here is some post party celebration. I love the one with Nana, Molly and I, and the one of Molly loving on Nana! The one of Jack is of Jack opening his gift. We get him a present every year on Molly's birthday. It was so wonderful to celebrate her birthday!

Max's Birthday Party

I am playing blogger catch up going from now, back to Molly's birthday in June. We celebrated Max's first birthday at White Rock Lake! Happy Birthday, MAX

Happy Birthday Nana!

Today, if I am correct, and I could be wrong, Nana is something along the lines of 39! It is amazing so many grandkids at such a young age....I kid. I would never out her real age on a blog. Seriously, though, one of the most tangible blessings in my life is watching my mom with my kids. She is amazing with Jack and Molly Ann. Truthfully, she is amazing with all kids, from newborn to teenagers. In high school, my home was always full of kiddos, and my mom would feed them, take care of them, listen to their thoughts, worries and hopes, and take them entirely seriously. She did the same for me, which, if you've ever been a teenager, is an amazingly comforting thing. Later, she adopted my friends from ACU, as well as my then boyfriend, now husband. She lavished love on all of us. Unconditionally. She still listens to me, and takes me seriously, and carries all of my burdens with her. She plays the perfect games with Jack and Molly, and her back yard is a veritable shrine to her grandkids, with a play place, a space ship, a pirate ship and a garden that everyone is free to roam in. She cannot tell me enough funny stories about Max, whom she adores! She is still welcoming and kind, and even though she would dispute this, she is a great example of what God expects in hospitality. She helps out in actually physical ways, watching my kids so I can take a break, take a class or teach a class. She is always buying things for everyone, just because she wants to show us how much she loves us. She calls Jackson my sweet boy, and tells me how special Molly Ann is. She is reassuring of my choices, even if she might have doubts. The thing that really amazes me is how she created her identity as a mom. She had no real role model to go on: her own mom gave her up when she was two, and her step mom fit the bill as a step mom straight out of Cinderella or Hansel and Gretel. She always told me the most important ingredient to be a good mom was LOVE. LOVE your kids, and everything else, all mistakes, all misunderstandings, everything else washes away in the face of that love. This is biblical: These remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. I've spent many days wondering about true love, and it has only since dawned on me how God has blessed me with a great true love in my mother. She loves me completely, and my family, Mike, Molly and Jack all become wrapped up in an amazing web of love. Her love is heavenly, directly inspired by her love of God and God's love for her. Happy Birthday Nana! I love you!

Home, A Little Groggy, after a 300 dollar picture

This weekend was a flash! We celebrated Max's birthday at White Rock Lake...Happy Birthday, little guy! I got dubbed with a new nickname, too...Aunt Jojo. I like it. Then, it was home for a rest, off to the nursery at our church, and then to bed to get ready for a quick drive to Amarillo to see my granny, who is in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimers. She actually wasn't expected to live through a chest cold in May, she even confided in her son that the angels were at her bedside. They must have brought with them God's healing, because she suffered a miraculous healing, and is healthy except for her mind in a nursing facility in Amarillo. She has three sons, Don and Joe live there, and my dad, her youngest, who lives in Granbury. She knew him for the first time in four years, but was wary of me and the kids. Last May, when the doctors had given her five days at the most to live, I was sad because I didn't have a picture of her with my kids. I LOVED granny when I was little. I spent many nights next to her and her soft skin on her pull out sofa watching videos with her. She took my cousin Cathie and I when no one would allow us together. (We were wild, wild wild...another post another time). She had a beauty shop out behind her house where she fixed hair, old school style. Anyway, I was sad. so I rode with my parents pulling a camper (they are headed out to Pecos for some camping and fly fishing) to Amarillo on Sunday. 8 hours later, we are there, headed to the nursing home where of course she didn't know me. I got one picture of her with Jack and Molly, which I will post because it is so funny. In the picture, she is looking at Molly about to push her hand off her Granny arms, where Molly was touching her. She told Molly not to touch her again! And, Jack is being pushed by Uncle Joe to look like he isn't scared of his mind of this old, old lady in a wheel chair. It was kind of dark humor, which I think gets you through the sad times like that. I think God offers us these moments to laugh instead of cry, instead of bogging down in saddness, to grasp onto the sometimes insanity of it all. Another bitter sweet part was watching her sons prompt her and work with her, to retrieve the little bits of memory that are tangled insider her mind. They ask basic questions over and over, and some part of granny's mind still holds onto her past enough to answer the rote questions. I am not sure she is entirely in the same world we are in, but I am also uncertain where she is. Perhaps she is in an inbetween state, not quite with us in the present, not quite sure of the past, but existing in a world where she can remember her favorite dessert is ice cream, and that she is tired enough to want to sleep every moment of the day away. I am thankful for the opportunity to see her, to touch her paper thin skin again, and to pay homage to a great woman that I've loved. I'll put up the pic when Mike gets home today. This morning, we were up at 5 a.m. to catch the early flight out of the Amarillo Regional Airport on Southwest Airlines. This was an opportunity for more dark humor. Our car was searched on the way in, and Jack's asthma machine trigged a bomb alert and a quick scolding for me from the screeners. Then, the flight was quick and Mike met us at Love Field. All in all, 300 dollars for the tickets to get a picture that I will treasure for ever, because I love granny and I was glad to see her with my kids, whom I also love greatly. I wanted to have a photo of the lineage she is partially responsible for, because she is my father's mother, she and her mother Estelle, and Estelle's mother, whom I met at her 105th birthday when I was a child. I am thankful that God has blessed me with family, even if capturing it in a photo is a little bittersweet. I am a little groggy this morning, but now it is outside so Molly Ann can play and release some pent up energy from the busy, busy weekend.